So.
Hi there.
It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
Sure has.
Have you missed me?
I’ve missed you.
And I’m sorry I was gone for so long.
(Please note that this site is still a mess, but an error/problem on the server I was migrating from finally forced my hand into doing SOMEthing with this site. So please bear with me as I get everything back up and running again. Thanks for your patience.)
(Please also note that one post and a handful of your comments got lost in the transfer, due to some database crash and other shit on the old server. Sorry for any inconvenience.)
There are a number of reasons things fell apart and the center did not hold. I’ll outline them, briefly:
1) I got too ambitious. My plans for this site’s dramatic overhaul as a centralized hub of all of my various efforts were perhaps a little too lofty for my actual motivations. I had some of the mechanics worked out, but not the design, which is the hardest part. (I’ve since trimmed this back, and have a different site I’m going to be using as an aggregator, I think.)
The problem here, though, is that I kept putting off migration from the old server, thinking “I’ll just start it all once I get the revision in place.” Which, well, never happened. And I was unwilling to keep adding content to the old server because I just kept thinking “I’ll just have to migrate it all, then.”
2) I got busy. I love my job, and it’s normally really awesome, but for a while things got so crazy that there were many nights when I was at the office until well after midnight. Sometimes until it was time to leave the following day. (Yes, 09:30 one morning to 18:30 the next day.) And when your job involves writing code and/or working with websites, and you’ve spent anywhere between 8 and 30 solid hours coding, you really don’t want to go home and do more coding.
3) I got burned out. I spent so much time being so so filled with rage that eventually it became the norm. Eventually I just stopped being able to give a shit.
4) I got distracted. I have a number of other projects I’ve been working on. For instance, I’m finally rewriting the novel I wrote three years ago, cutting out all the dumb shit and making it snappier and more interesting, fixing some of the dialog, etc. I also have about six or eight other novels I’ve started that I haven’t gotten very far into. And while I’m bringing this site back and will try to update it more regularly, my attention is going to be on those things, because they don’t bum me the fuck out whenever I think about them, the way politics and religion do. I might start moving this site a little more away from the political and further toward just general bullshit so that I’m less disinclined to update it.
5) I got a life. I used to work from home for a couple years, and I came to have a hard time separating “work time” from “home time” because it all took place within the same space. I ended up unwilling to go out and do fun stuff because I always felt like “I have to work.” Then I went through a pretty emotionally devastating breakup, accompanied by an unrelated series of shitty events, and I withdrew even more. And then I had some revelations (some of which are thanks in large part to the book Yes Man), and I decided to actually Do Some Fucking Things with my life instead of sitting in front of a computer all the time. Which relates a bit to points 2 – 4 above.
6) I got so many other means by which to communicate ideas. Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc. And I keep that shit open all the time, to keep up with everyone else’s stuff.
The aggregation plan was supposed to double-post things here from Facebook and Twitter and such, but… it seemed like too much effort, and needless redundancy. People could just, y’know, follow me on Twitter and reply there. Which made me stop giving so much of a shit about the aggregation idea. But that was only a recent revelation.
There are other reasons, too, having to do with an ongoing existential crisis, severe depression, etc, but I won’t get into any of that.
Thing is, I know I probably disappointed a lot of you by not updating in so long, but it takes a lot of effort to write this stuff. Especially the Dissections. Some of those can take several hours, combing over science and philosophy or — more importantly — coming up with the perfect dick joke. It can be hard, sometimes. (AND SO CAN WRITING THE DISSECTIONS, KA-KOW!)
And remember, it’s all free content. Which, I mean, money isn’t really the point, but there’s a rather troubling growing sentiment I’ve noticed with online content, and Chris Onstad breaks it down pretty well, where everyone — and I’m just as guilty — seems to have come to expect a steady flow of free entertainment. I don’t want anyone to pay, but I do want everyone to understand that when it’s not my job to update this site, there might be some lulls. I might occasionally get busy or blown out. Or I might have other projects that I find more rewarding or compelling.
Which is why I’m also encouraging you all to sign up for an account, here, and submit posts. They don’t have to be diatribes or Dissections or other lengthy shit that takes hours to write. They can be interesting articles and stories you’ve found and your takes on them, or whatever. Submit it and maybe I’ll throw it up on the site. If not, don’t take it personally. But it’ll take some of the burden and the pressure off of me, and it might keep me from thinking about this site as a giant ship that I’m trying to sail across the Atlantic by standing on the back and blowing.
Meanwhile, I do have plans for making this site better. I’m already cleaning up the appearance and the navigation. I have an idea for a new spin on Dissections, and I’m going to start branching out more from just Jack Chick’s insane bullshit.
Part of the plan involves starting fresh, because it had started out as a modified version of an early WordPress version, and as they kept updating and changing their software, my hacks became less and less compatible. But now they’ve gotten a pretty good framework worked out, and I’m going to work inside of that instead of against it. Which means that I’m starting the UI stuff all over again in a more stable way. In the meantime, it’s going to be just the default WordPress theme.
I’ll be, over the course of the coming weeks, migrating things from the old WP crap into the new stuff. It’s all probably going to take a while, and it’ll probably be slow-moving, but I’m only one guy. I have a job and friends and family and interests outside of arguing about politics and religion on the internet. But I’m trying.
See you soon.
-J
