CNN asked viewers, when I was in the airport the other day, how they would solve the Israel/Gaza crisis, with an e-mail address where you could send your response. The anchor said, in a completely unironic tone, “Hey, wouldn’t it be something if one of our viewers out there had the answer?” as though an e-mail response to a cable news network is going to somehow solve thousands of years of conflict in the region.

Wait, has it been thousands of years? I forget, with all this specious “BUT WHAT IF MEXICO WAS LAUNCHING MISSILES AT CALIFORNIA?!?” shittery, as though Israel did absolutely nothing — nothing, and it’s appalling that you would even imply it as a possibility — to warrant any kind of attack. I guess all our politicians and most of our conservatives here in America seem to think that all the conflict in that region began with Hamas launching those missiles.

It’s getting to the point where, as soon as I hear about U.S. politicians supporting something, my immediate response is to oppose it, just because they’re wrong nearly all the fucking time.

It’s weird how it’s gotten to be that any response — of whatever intensity — is always justified, as long as someone did something bad to us. Like that asshole Bloomberg:

Well, let me just phrase it for you something that’ll bring it home. If you’re in your apartment, and some emotionally disturbed person is banging on your door, screaming, ‘I am going to come through this door and kill you,’ do you want us to respond with one police officer, which is proportional, or with all the resources at our command? Just think about it in that context. There is no so such thing as a proportional response to terrorism. This is not something we are playing by the Marquis of Queensbury rules. People’s lives are at risk.


I’m not saying by any means that Hamas is the best thing since sliced freedom, but everyone’s been treating this as such a one-fucking-sided issue, as though Israel is always already innocent of any wrongdoing in any situation, and that’s just ridiculous and wrong. Wrong. I don’t hate America (or, by extension, usually, for conservatives, Israel), I hate bullshit. This is a major reason the terrorists hate us: Because we unquestioningly support anything Israel does, and we treat any conflict there like it’s entirely one-sided.

[Aside: It’s ironic, by the way: Religious fundamentalists tend to be so quick to claim that certain people “hate America”, while at the same time talking about (but not actually living by) the idea of “hate the sin, love the sinner”. Do they just not understand that you can hate what America does sometimes without hating America itself? Maybe it’s because that expression tends to actually mean nothing to them, and they hate gays as much as homosexuality.]

In response to the CNN question, I have an idea for how we could possibly ameliorate the problem: Build a time machine, go back to World War II, and convince the U.S. government to allow Jewish refugees from Europe and the U.S.S.R. to settle here, so that Israel wouldn’t undergo such a massive population boom that effectively turned the Arabs living in the area into a minority underclass of prisoners.

Or, how about this: Everyone can stop giving a shit about this religious feud gone way too long into overtime, stop bombing each other, stop subjugating and oppressing each other, recognize that we’re all human beings, for fuck’s fucking sake already, and deal with all of this like an intelligent civilization.

21 thoughts on “KILL HAJI”

  1. But but…oh…my…

    Not only do you hate America, the BEST fucking holy country on this Earth, that liberates the shit out o anyone else, you’re anti-semitic!


  2. Interesting article, Jabberwock
    BTW can anyone tell me why America and
    Israel are so tied together?

    I mean I know Britain (my country)
    originally gave control of the land,
    but they’re just as opposed to the conflict.

    Also on the Arab citizens, I thought initially
    treatment was pretty fair, but then I dug up
    articles like this (

    Also does anyone know why some people accused that cardinal comparing Gaza to a concentration camp of holocaust denial?
    It doesn’t seem to fit.

  3. I still retain a lot of sympathy for Israel, though I do acknowledge that there’s no good solution to this conflict, by which I mean the 2000+ year struggle over a strip of sand. The Israelis have been there just long enough to have a legit claim to the place, and I honestly don’t know what the Arabs are fighting for; they’ve got so many pet causes among them its mind-boggling.

    The only solution I see to the problem is to introduce a third, stronger ethnic group such as the British or perhaps the Chinese. Thats the only way because this isn’t a political, or even religious conflict, its a race war. Turning the area into a European colony wasn’t the best solution, but it kept things quiet and under control; who’s to say the godless Chinese can’t come in and straighten things out?

    Thats a brutal solution, but the only way to end race wars is to reduce the population of both races in conflict; or in this case displace them out of the area of conflict. The Israelis can’t push into the Gaza strip if the PLA blocking their path. Can you dig it Jabberwock?

  4. I’m of the opinion that Israel is fully justified in defending itself, but the use of overwhelming force–as it’s doing in Gaza–is too much. Retaliation against Hamas isn’t in and of itself a bad thing, but cracking down as much as they are makes Israel out to be a bully, which they routinely get away with.

    I can’t be the only one seeing similarities to the Russia/Georgia crisis back in August. Not that they’re identical, but there are definite similarities.

  5. I’m shocked that Bloomberg would say that. It you read his statement at face value — and maybe I do this too much — you get, “If one person is banging at your door threatening your life, do you want one person with weaponry and training to respond, or everything in the NYPD’s police force, from riot squads to helicopters, to all swarm on the spot and flood you entire block with ‘protection’?” To which the appropriate and sane response would be, “That’s easy, just what the situation requires, and maybe a bit more, not everything and everyone available!” Maybe Bloomberg is actually sarcasstically condemning Israel for trying to destroy random Palestinians in Gaza, and telling them to rein their fighting only on Hamas?

    And as a Jew, (granted, one who adopted Judaism, and is now practically an atheist), Israel’s actions make me blind with rage. Despite Arab terrorists doing their best to score the most “death points” by killing Israeli civilians instead of fighting a real war against the army, Israel still manages to score even higher and win the most “death points”.

    It’s insane, and it seems as if the Israeli gov’t wants to earn Arab hate as much as possible. Fuck fuck fuck, this makes me too sick for words. I wish I could have the “good old days” of people empathetic for Israel. I just got to stop now, I’m too sad, disgusted, and angry to think straight.

    At least Ann Coulter can have the closest thing to an orgasm, knowing non-Aryan non-Christians and killing each other…

  6. BTW can anyone tell me why America and
    Israel are so tied together?

    Generally, it seems to be the results of two large “Israel Lobbies”: one, a moderately large population of ethnic Jews; and two, a similarly large population of conservative Christians. Both would have a strong interest in Israel, but for different reasons: Jews would usually feel Israel is a positive force, in the world, and an underdog; while Evangelicals might feel that, but also that the Christian Bible somehow states that Israel needs to exist as a country and be attacked by enemies, before Jesus will return.

    The interesting thing is that the “Jewish lobby” generally has a wide diversity of opinion on what a Jewish state should be, and how it should interact with the rest of the world. In fact, Jews often joke about the cliche, “Two Jews, three opinions”. On the other hand, Evangelicals tend to strongly desire efforts to not only protect Israel, but also to inject Evangelical Christianity into it.

    It’s a strange relationship, and has many Jewish detractors. Rightfully so, in my opinion.

  7. First I want to correct the idea that the conflict is thousands of years old. The Isreali/Arab conflict goes back only to a century ago, and is not connected with earlier wars in the reigion like the crusades.

    And heres my suggestion: Take the leaders of both sides, smack them in the head and make them act like adults. If they did the conflict would be over in a day.

  8. @Joe

    I think the “1000s of years old,” comment was directed more towards the age-old conflict between Jews and Muslims in the region, not specifically towards the modern-day Israel/Everyone Else feud.

  9. Human “civilization” is circling the drain of extinction due to our being greedy, self-serving idiots that don’t seem to learn how to live on this planet sustainably and in cooperation with each other. We’ve grossly overpopulated the world and we’re rapidly using up what few resources we still have before the impending climate change and our on-going pollution make food production (on the massive scale it’s needed) chaotic, if not completely impossible. The fabric of civilization will come unravelled very soon and the whole world will either change the way we live so that we all have a stake in it (unlikely, historically speaking), or we will all go down in flames, disease, famine, floods, drought, war, chaos (etc.) and “life” will return to brutish, nasty and short (like in the Dark Ages).

  10. Tom, I’m by no means saying we have an optimal society, but I think you’re being a bit harsh on our species…it’s not easy to totally reverse centuries worth of damage in the few decades of enlightenment we’ve had.

  11. Dean, that’s exactly my point – i think we’ve run out of time to have learned how to live together on the planet sustainably. The planet will most certainly go on, but we’re pretty much toast, by our own hand.

  12. All I can say is this: in ten years they’ll have bombed the shit out of each other so badly that whole area will be nothing but water.

  13. Oh dear, I know I need help, for an insane second I thought you meant the “Hajii” from ‘Jonny Quest”.

  14. Tom: Reminds me of Ian Malcolm, in the novel Jurassic Park (not the film, which was just action filler – though pretty damn good action filler). Ian says that there’s no need to save the planet; we don’t have the power to destroy it in the first place, so claiming we’re saving it is just arrogance. He points out, of course, that we’re just trying to save our environment, and, at the core, save our own asses. We might destroy everything we know, and destroy ourselves, but this planet has been around for BILLIONS OF YEARS, and life ALWAYS finds a way to survive. We’re doomed. The planet? It’s perfectly safe. Unless, of course, someone builds a Death Star. Then we’re fucked.

  15. Y’know if I was an advance scout for an alien invasion, not that I am of course, I’d recommend obliterating Israel utterly and entirely when we take over.

    Both as a way to show that the local earthmonkey god can’t help you earthmonkeys, and more importantly to show what happens to squabblers who make trouble, now that we’ve taken over. If it doesn’t work, there’s plenty ‘for good measure’ targets that can be obliterated for much the same reason!

    Eventually the earthmonkeys’ll catch on one thinks. And just obey.

    Not that I am an advance scout for an alien invasion of course.

  16. I know it’s too late, but I’d really like to get hold of the moronic Brits and Americans who thought it would be a really good idea to take someone else’s land in the middle of bunch of Arab (read Muslim) nations and give it to the despised (by Arabs) Jews who were lookin’ for a home after WWII. The have no more claim to this land than the Palestinians who originally lived there. (Yeah, so the Jews did too at one time or another. Big deal). They all got around in the old days. Hell,even the Armenians under Vartan the Great laid claim to a lot of that area of the world. I think that everyone involved made a big mistake after WWII by not giving the Jews Libya or some other desert spot they cold have made to bloom. Shit. Drop them off in the Gobi or, since some say the American Natives are the lost tribes, the Mojave. Start now. And move them all. They could be our next code talkers when M tries to take over with his alien invasion force.

  17. Balance Time

    My stance is this: Israel has a right to defend herself, but the deliberate bombing of schools, foreign embassies and hospitals is wrong. Invade, by all means, but don’t target civilians knowingly, you fucking Zionist yid bastards.

    Likewise, though, Israel does not deserve to be the target of attacks: they are terrorist attacks specifically aimed at Israeli women and children, at their home*, and they did not do anything to warrant this, Jabberwock, as much as I despise both Islam and Judaism. They did things that warrant a war crimes investigation by the U.N., and I would love it if their leader was forced to step down, but they do not deserve terrorist attacks.

    There are many hardline Islamists in Palestine who will use these attacks to justify their becoming suicide-bombers and insurgents. To say what you have said, Jabberwock, is to convince these sort of people that you agree with them, and to back them up. Of course, you don’t intend to, but any dialogue that even seems to be justifying or defending these bastards in the slightest . . . will be seen to be justifying or defending these bastards. And that is precisely what they will think.

    My advice to you is to be careful with what you say, even if the ramblings of one blogger — yourself — aren’t going to affect the situation.

    That being said, Israel should know better — by doing this, they’ve cut their own fucking throat, as the Islamists in Palestine (like I just said) will use it to justify what they say.

    In summary:

    Hamas are bastards who use any excuse to attack the Jews;
    Israel are also bastards who feel they should kill innocent Palestinians and cut their own throat in doing so;

    both groups are vehemently racist towards each other, as we can see from the above actions;

    and, they are also rabidly religious — Israel being rabidly Jewish, and Hamas being rabidly Islamist — and use this as an excuse to persecute each other for no good reason.

    Rabid Zionist Yid Supremacists + rabid lunatic ragheads = persecution of each other’s group “in the name of God”.

    And that’s not even mentioning the naive twats who try and take side on this issue.

    We need to be more balanced and accept the following: both sides are as bad as each other, and are destroying the stability of the entire Middle-East because their Gods tell them to, and because their Gods say they have a “claim to the land”.

    Both sides. Are religious fanatics. And are as bad as each other. And are scum. Who put their religions above human life.

    Because, let’s face it: Yahweh (or Allah, if you like) is more important than anything else, and both sides are using him as an exuse to persecute each other. Classic religious warfare.


    *That said, Israel wasn’t the home of even the Jews — ethnic or gentile converts — anyway. There was a native population that the Jews came along and kicked out, so it isn’t their land according to their own fucking holy book.

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