Chick Dissection | The Execution

In which Jack Chick yet again depicts his own God as inferior to a given individual human.

He was supposed to be executed for his crime, but someone took his place. Jesus has taken our place too.

“Hi, I’m Jack Chick, creator of this Tract. I have absolutely no idea how the American justice system works, but I’m going to make wild and inaccurate depictions of it in order to shoehorn in a retarded metaphor that unintentionally demonstrates how a single human’s love is greater than the love of God. Hurr, enjoy!”

Pretty sure this one is intended for kids or developmentally disabled adults, based on the artwork and the sheer ridiculousness of the plot and the metaphors. I really can’t picture anyone with a fully-developed, fully-functioning brain reading this and thinking it makes any kind of sense on any level at all.

I think I heard about this, it’s the follow-up series to The Prisoner.

*KONK* I’ll bet if this were animated, the little girl would kinda spring back up and bounce for a little bit like an accordion.

You know, maybe she should try Ritalin or something. The “gentle pleading” doesn’t seem to be working.

And what the hell did she expect, dressing him up like Chucky from Child’s Play.

Well, hey, God made him that way. Look, what in hell’s the point of all this, anyway? God creates a child who’s a complete asshole, despite his mother’s love and caring and attention. Obviously, there’s some deep, fundamental problem with him — maybe something physiologically flawed in his brain, or some kind of psychological trauma. So I guess the point is that he’s supposed to somehow, I don’t know, overcome this deep physiological/psychological problem that he may not even be aware he has, that God allowed to exist in him.

Let’s say someone’s frontal lobe is mangled, and they can’t really control their actions. They have wild mood swings, ranging from impulsively torturing another human being to donating half a year’s wages to orphans. You’re a fundamentalist, and you try to tell this person “hey, accept Jesus or you’re doomed!” In response, they stomp a cat to death. Is God going to send this person to hell? If so, God is a fucking monster. If not, well, why not?

Given that we’re all a bunch of shifting chemicals producing patterns in meat, why should our thoughts and actions here — limited severely by the meat medium through which we express them — have any bearing on, well, anything? Especially anything outside of the observable world. So if God will excuse frontal lobe damage because such damage has an uncontrollable effect on one’s consciousness, what about the myriad other naturally-occurring, common factors that exist that impact or limit or interfere with the way we think?

When Sonny grew up, he traded his neck for a rat.

He’s not really a very effective thug, is he? “Oh, here’s some old guy on a park bench reading a newspaper. He’s definitely going to be my ticket to Richville!”

“Captaaaain CavemaAaAaAaAaan!” *KLONK* I wonder how many people use big goofy clubs to commit crimes nowadays. Why not just, like, club him with a woolly mammoth femur or something.

Jane Hathaway saw him do it, apparently.

Oh, yeah, he’s a real badass, calmly complying with police like that. He’ll club some random old man over the head, but he won’t resist arrest?

Considering he seems to be just randomly aggressive with no real care given to whether there are any witnesses around or what happens with his life, that really seems like further illustration of a substantial mental problem.

Uh, the police officer on the right: Where’s his other leg? And why’s he kinda squatting? And… and why is he smiling like that? You know what, I really don’t want to know.

Eleven Angry Men and a Spider. Jack really should’ve had “Guilty” written in a web up in the corner. I like to imagine that after testimony from one of the police officers, the spider-juror spelled out “That’ll do, pig”.

The jury foreman looks like he has gout or something. Maybe he ate too much of Wilbur.

“Your honor, I move for mistrial on the basis that the jury has been seated in an ant farm this whole time.”


Uh. So we’re not going to make any kind of first degree/second degree separation, here? Because that seemed to me like second degree murder, the sentencing of which normally doesn’t include the death penalty. I dunno, maybe this is Australia or something.

Judge looks like he’s clubbing him on the head with the gavel for emphasis. And that’s one fuckin’ sinister-looking bailiff. Looks like he’s going to eat Sonny’s eyes as soon as they’re out in the hall.

I’m pretty sure every man in this thing is balding or fully bald. Even the kid had no hair.

But ha-HAH! The rat smuggled him in a file or a saw or something that he can use to escape!

Heyyyyy, mother is hot!

Yeah, cookies. Cookies are going to make everything fucking better.

“One day, der Führer — er, I mean, the warden said…”

So, the warden just decides when people’s executions get carried out. No appeals or anything like that.

Oh, now he exhibits a little self-preservation instinct. Could’ve used this several panels ago, when he could’ve maybe killed a guy for his money not in broad daylight with a bunch of eyewitnesses.

I’m not sure I understand why this guy wants to live. He seems to hate everything, even his own mother. He’s apparently so desperate for money he killed some old guy for the, like, $8.75 in his pocket. He’s a brutal idiot who assaults people at random, and can’t seem to do or say anything that doesn’t involve being a hateful fuckbean. What reason could he possibly have for prolonging such a horrible, shitty existence?

I think Amnesty International might have something to say about a prison where snakes and rats run loose in the cells.

At this point, I’ve conceded that Jack is just incapable of depicting an antagonist who’s a generally awful person without making them just unequivocally, fractally horrible.

Seriously, what’s with the fucking cookies? Does she just not know how to cook anything else? Maybe that explains why the guy’s so horrible: Chronic malnutrition throughout his development led to stunted neurological growth.

Hey, in the second panel, he could just vault over the bars! If he wasn’t such a fatass from all of mom’s cookies, that is.

Well, the governor can call any time up to the execution. He could always change his mind.

Do they have him leashed to the wall on a chain?

For how many days is this rat going to be fighting the snake? Or is this another snake, and the prison is just plagued with the damn things?

“Oh my God! My hair is gone! I’m too young to go bald!”

…And the dicksucking noises could be heard echoing through every cell block in the building. HUALGUALGAULGAULGUALGAUGLAUGUAL

Sorry, it’s just… goddamn, where else can you go with this one?

Doesn’t a law that “demands death” for any crime be considered maybe on the questionable side?

Since when do light beams have hard, visible edges? And since when can they wrap around and illuminate a patch of wall around the corner from the light source? Unless we’re actually inside of a room, here, and not outside a building. Or… gyah, it’s hurting my brain. It’s just all wrong.

I like how the rat just kinda bails, charging full-force out the door, when all along it could’ve just, y’know, slipped back out through the bars.

I guess they called Father Cancer Man to do the last rites.

How many state-sanctioned hanging executions have there been in the United States since, oh, half a century ago?

Aw, poor guy’s got hyperhidrosis.

“The gallows is out in the yard.” *chin-poke* “Mmph.” *chin-poke chin-poke*

Boyoyoyoyoyoyoing! Wait, what?

Okay, I’ll save you guys the suspense, here (since Jack is taking his usual route of padding out over about a half dozen panels what can be said in just one or two) and reveal that Sonny’s mother was executed instead. Which, well… wow. Not only is that some profound ignorance of the American legal system, but it also seems completely oblivious to the reason for the death penalty in the first place. (Thought continues in the next panel’s commentary to keep up with Jack’s padding…)

Jack seems to believe that the death penalty doesn’t attempt to serve any purpose, but is instead, oh, I don’t know, some kind of ritualistic human sacrifice to appease the Goddess of Punishment or something. I’m personally opposed to the death penalty, but I can see the rationale behind why people support it. They think it serves as a deterrent against horrible crimes, or that it’s a way to weed violent criminals out of society. Some of its proponents actually even admit that it’s really just an “eye for eye” vengeance thing. But what matters in all of these cases is that the person who did the crime receives the punishment. It’s not like proponents of the death penalty think “well, this guy killed a person so someone else — any other person — has to die in order for justice to be served”. Just… wow.

I know, I know, he’s just trying to use this as a metaphor. But the premise is so absolutely fucking retarded that you’d have to have a rake through your head to read this and go “heyyyyy, this makes sense” and subsequently subscribe to the fundie perspective.

You could chop firewood on that guy’s face. Damn.

“Your MOM!” Or, better yet, “Your MOM is hung!”

“Sonny, you have very soft elbows for an ex-con!” *stroke stroke* *caress*

This looks like it should be in an advertisement for, like, electric scissors or something. “We spend hours cutting out coupons every day! Isn’t there a BETTER WAY?” Or, “My flaccid, malfunctioning penis is really getting me down. Isn’t there ANYTHING I can DO?”

Hey, I thought Sonny’s mom just demonstrated that someone else can love you that much. But, oh, I forgot, Jesus is the only person who ever suffered any kind of substantial misery out of sacrifice for another person.

And the metaphor screeches wildly out of control and crashes into a tree.

So, here’s the thing: Even though Sonny didn’t believe in his mother, even though he effectively told her she could go fuck herself and that he didn’t care about her at all, she still died in his place. Did Sonny’s mom send her maid over to his cell to pester him into accepting his mother as his savior? Did she refuse to save him because he rejected her? So what does that say about God? Sonny’s mother has more unconditional a love than God does. Especially when you consider that Sonny’s mom didn’t just send her avatar off to be executed — an avatar that she could’ve mass produced, had she been omnipotent — she actually sacrificed the entirety of her being, as far as she knew.

“God’s a giant pervert who arbitrarily stares at each and every one of our lives with a critical eye, judging every one of our actions, even though he knows we’re imperfect beings, and for some reason what we do is really important to him, even though he could be doing more interesting things like trying to make a rock so big even he couldn’t lift it.”

“Because God loves us, he made a way to get rid of sin… A POINTING FINGER. And this is the only way.”


In weather today, the clouds disappeared, the oceans turned black, and giant zebra arrows rained violently down from space.

Just who is this… *arches eyebrow* “Jesus”?

Jesus looks like he’s imploring all of us to shoot a game of hoops with him.


Jesus was crucified on top of a giant Cocoa Puff.

Jesus is back… and he’s pissed! I’m expecting, like, his wind-twisted robe is concealing a Desert Eagle in his left hand that he’s going to whip out to start popping big chunks out of his former oppressors.

Waaaaait a second… I thought they were the same person!

To get rid of your sins, do this: Drop to your knees, and press carpet fuzz onto your face, trying to get as much of it to stick as possible.

Aaaand we’ve been through all of this before.

This is another one where Chick pads the hell out of the content to stretch four pages worth of idea into twenty two pages of Tract by showing us things like the outsides of buildings, or the same scene drawn five different ways with half a sentence of dialog in each panel.

What stands out about this one is the depiction of “justice”. I know Jack’s trying to be satirical, telling a kind of “morality fairytale for adults” or whatever, but it just… fails. The suspension of disbelief required to ignore how absolutely ridiculous the premise is is impossible for a working brain to accomplish.

Meanwhile, Jack uses a metaphor of a mother’s unconditional love to try to demonstrate that Jesus loves you more than anything else, even though Jesus will only save you if you believe in him, and Sonny’s mother would do anything for him regardless of how he behaved or what he believed.

I guess there’s kind of a “with great power comes great responsibility” thing to inject into this as well: Christians tend to claim that humans sacrificing or risking their lives for other humans is nothing compared to the sacrifice made by Jesus, mostly because this physical lifetime “doesn’t really count”, or whatever. But really, if God is the only one who can save us from a particular fate, then he has an obligation to do so. By the same logic that humans sacrificing their lives for each other is trivial, it’s also trivial for God to sacrifice for us. Especially considering that he’s omnipotent and we’re not, so our sacrifice for each other is more complete and irreversible.

Just because whenever anyone other than Jesus gets tortured to death, they can’t subsequently break free from hell to save others, it doesn’t mean that Jesus’s love is somehow “better” or “greater” just because he has more superpowers.

Until next time. Tell your friends to tell their friends.

78 thoughts on “Chick Dissection | The Execution”

  1. “I think I heard about this, it’s the follow-up series to The Prisoner.”

    Ba-dum, chssssss

    that line made me laugh hard for some reason.

  2. I goes first!

    I love, love, LOVE this one and am glad you got around to it. The “Your MOTHER!” panel is going to become my avatar on every forum on Earth, so help me. On its own, it just looks like the warden just told the most offensive Mama joke of all time.

  3. “How many state-sanctioned hanging executions have there been in the United States since, oh, half a century ago?”

    Three. Yeah, I’m surprised too.

  4. Oof, hit “Submit Content” before I wanted to. 😛 I meant to say right after that…

    And how frickin’ often are we going to see people brought to their knees and repenting? I’ve seen it in just about every tract dissected here. (Surprised he just doesn’t have a stock silhouette panel he throws in every time.)

    I’d continue on, but Jabberwock pretty much covered how stupid the death penalty metaphor is here. This tract always hit me as insanely idiotic, and I’m glad to see it dissected.

  5. What sucks to me is that the tract never reveals whether Sonny repents and accepts his mother into his heart!

    And I swear, looking at the Jesus narrative, I was expecting that the person crouching down and praying was Jesus.

    I think Chick uses his parenthetical revision of the KJV 3:16 more than he uses the original. This baffles me, unless he also prints out Bibles with multiple parenthetical interpolations.

    When I was an Evangelical, I used to wonder whether the Holy Spirit would be seated at the left hand.

  6. “Then He was taken up to heaven to sit at the right hand side of his Father”- this sounds alot like that one “credo” prayer that catholics recite at mass. so chick DOES believe in catholic stuff like the trinity and the whole god the father and god the son thing. oh well…
    Also in the first panel it says that the criminal’s mother begged him to be good. which chick has shown us in other tracts that it really wouldnt matter anyway. he would have been a goody goody two-shoes boy who would never even kill a roach and even then he would have been fucked if he didnt believe in christ.
    but the stupidest part of the tract is the fact that the mother offered herself to be executed. first of all, who WOULD allow this, really? second, the mother and the son dont look anything at all, so im pretty sure people would know that it’s not the guy theyre supposed to execute. and third, i guess they were trying to teach the meanie a lesson, but how sure are they that he’s not gonna kill or steal again even after he evaded execution. it’s like timothy mcveigh getting released instead of getting executed for the oklahoma bombing because someone took his place as long as he promised not to kill anyone again. chick tried to put emphasis on the whole “jesus died for our sins” thing but the only thing that is obvious is that assuming jesus did “sacrifice” himself for humanity, it didnt work since according to chick, humanity is still “wicked.”

  7. just to mention something else, chick’s art in this one is down right horrible, it’s not even funny to look at. it’s like calvin and hobbes drawn by someone with a blend of psychosis and tourettes.

  8. pg.14 – Christ, it looks like the warden slashed at Sonny’s throat with a boxcutter as he revealed who was really executed. Sonny’s hands are clamped onto his throat like his head is about to topple off.

  9. correction – he’s grasping frantically at his jaw; I forgot that Chick characters are denied necks. Maybe the warden cracked his baton across Sonny’s jaw and he’s trying to fit it back into the joints.

  10. This tract is more proof that Chick hasn’t talked to people or even read a newspaper in the last 70 years. No one in this era is hung. They are lethally injected or given the chair. Also, our justice system will not execute an innocent person for someone who deserves to die. Even if the person pleads to die for the convicted. NEVER!!!.

    I would love to let Chick read these. Then he would learn what a stupid asshole he is.

  11. I like how he’s been sentenced to death by hanging. What year is this, Jack?

    Alright, I’m sorry, but the mother as a representation of God doesn’t work. The mom’s too nice. The mom should have been petty, abusive, and (if we’re believing the story of Job) should have had a gambling problem.

  12. These days even inmates who want to die can’t get an execution date.
    Does anybody still use the chair? I thought even Florida had finally gone with lethal injection. There’s always the gas chamber, which I hear is horrible. At least lethal injection doesn’t involve somebody coughing up their lungs at the end.

  13. Another thing. Why are they letting him go? If his sentence was commuted, he wouldn’t go free. He would be sent to general population most likely and have to work for parole, which he would be highly unlikely to get. Besides, while the crime would be capital murder since he killed the man while robbing him, it probably wouldn’t bring about a death sentence unless the old man was somebody very important.
    Nice to see David Crosby believes in serving on a jury. Looks like he’s trying to decide if the spider is real or just a flashback.

  14. I love “I hate you! And your cookies!” *takes cookie*

    Plus: “You will hang by your neck until you are very sorry!”

  15. So wait, seeing that the mother was a healthy human being who choose to end her life, isn’t that kind of like assisted suicide? If this is the case then I hope Sonny’s mother can take comfort in hopefully her child repenting, because she’s probably burning in hell over this whole debacle. See that’s what god does for you. It’s why I don’t try to offer myself to be hanged on behalf of my homicidal family members, it just bites you in the ass.

    Also I’ve lately noticed the hairs on my neck standing up, I now take comfort from Mr. Chick in knowing this because the camera crew god assigns to video tape everyone. Sort of like Big Brother, but you know, angels and such.

    Great work as always!

  16. This tract is even more preposterous than the stuff I would normally expect from Chickman. The existence of this particular tract cannot be explained by assuming that he has spent the last couple of decades in his basement or some similar place. I am now convinced that Chickman doesn’t live in our world at all. He lives on a parallel Earth in a parallel universe were all that stuff in his tracts actually happens. The existence of his tracts in our world can only be explained by a kind of portal like they had in “Sliders” or something like that.
    What a scary thought…

  17. I noticed an interesting thing. If you read Chick tracts and Battle Cry you will notice how God/Jesus hates this and that, this and that being, well, almost anything outside fundy protestant Christianity. Then in his tracts you keep seeing children saying “I hate you” to their parents.

    Geee, I wonder if there is connection between God who hates everything and children hating their parents.

    Haha, the only way to salvation is to become carpet muncher. lol

  18. »You will hang by your neck until you are dead!« Then they found out he’s lacking a neck (like so many of Chick’s characters). They simply had to hang someone else …

  19. For the record, I think there are still a couple of states that allow hanging, but only if the condemned specifically requests it.

  20. Does the Chick-meister know how long it takes to actually, you know, _execute_ someone? John Wayne Gacy was convicted in, IIRC, 1980, and even with tons of evidence against him, it wasn’t till about 1997 or so that he got the needle. (Personally, I’d rather he’d have had the Death of a Thousand Cuts, but I’m rather prejudiced against him.)

  21. just a small point
    Australia does not have the death penalty
    the last man was Ronald Joseph Ryan age 41 he was executed in Melbourne on 3 February 1967

  22. So what does that say about God? Sonny’s mother has more unconditional a love than God does. Especially when you consider that Sonny’s mom didn’t just send her avatar off to be executed — an avatar that she could’ve mass produced, had she been omnipotent — she actually sacrificed the entirety of her being, as far as she knew.

    Exactly! That, and when we pay for our “sins”, we’re stuck in hell forever! How long was Jesus dead? How can one pay the eternal cost of sin within just 3 days?

    Seems kind of disproportionate to me. Is this the New Math or something?

  23. “I think Amnesty International might have something to say about a prison where snakes and rats run loose in the cells.”

    Mind you, that’s all murderers really deserve before an execution.

    Really, I think this is somewhere in Britain more than Australia – after all, Sonny is able to go free for no reason at all. Perhaps this would be useful for me: I could commit a murder,and have Tony Blair die in my place.

    Sonny’s mother dies, so is Chick trying to imply that Jesus was a woman? But, ah, Jesus is referred to in the MASCULINE. Therefroe, Jesus must be a she-male!

  24. Excuse ze double post:

    If someone has commited a murder, I think it could be argued that they do deserve eternal punishment; after all, they’ve taken a life, and that’s something that can’t be remedied. They’ve been deprived of their life, their life, and forever.

  25. “I dunno, maybe this is Australia or something.”

    Here in Australia we haven’t had the death penalty for FORTY YEARS.

  26. Sorry about that, all you Australians. I didn’t check the date on the extremely brief research I did.

    Felis: I don’t know. I don’t think there’s anything that anyone can do at all that could ever warrant an eternity of punishment. And, well, an eternity of punishment could only exist if there were an afterlife. So if there’s an afterlife, they’ve only deprived the person of this current existence.

    Sure, maybe the victim went to hell or something, but ultimately, if God’s that huge an asshole that there IS actually eternal punishment, then it really doesn’t matter what anyone does because we’re all stuck with that Grand Transgression that’s already condemned us to perpetual torture.

  27. “If someone has commited a murder, I think it could be argued that they do deserve eternal punishment; after all, they’ve taken a life, and that’s something that can’t be remedied. They’ve been deprived of their life, their life, and forever.”

    I refer to “The Gunslinger” when last minute conversion gives you clean slate and ticket to heaven.

  28. Life isn’t forever anyway, though. If I were God (or, more accurately, if God were more like me) I’d have the murderer be punished for the length of life the victim(s) would have lived had he/she/they not been killed. What the punishment would be could perhaps vary for the method of killing. Decades of boredom, perhaps, in a completely blank room, for painless killing. If it was more torturous, the room would be filled with acid. Or fire. Or burning acid.

    …I should be God. I’d do a damn better job than the hack Chick advocates.

  29. Jabberwock and luxxi: Fair point, but I’m trying to say that they deserve said eternal punishment. What I’m getting at is that maybe you should have some sort of amount of time in Ze Underworld depending on what you did and how bad it was (is that pseudo-Catholicism!?).

    Of course, for being just an “asshole” or someone who isn’t agreeable and commits sins such as theft and what have you, then it’s hard to tell 9they are on a similar level). But rape, murder and so forth are quite obvious, because they are so much worse.

    Rape is disgusting, but murder is easily way worse, because the damage can’t be undone.

    BreathingMeat: Right, now I want to shop this comic with Australian exmphasis on the words; and I’m getting this uncontrollable urge to plaster the face of Dame Edna where the mother’s heasd is. Thanks a friggin’ lot :p

  30. Well, any kind of ethereal post-human-life realm would be so far detached from the limitations of our meat-based structure and the fact that certain chemical exchanges (e.g. thought processes in general) and various things that can interfere with those exchanges that punishments in that realm would be pretty meaningless and baseless. It’d be like giving a schizophrenic the cure for schizophrenia and then proceeding to beat them severely for something they did while still effected by schizophrenia.

    I’d like to think that in any potential afterlife, people wouldn’t be held accountable as entities of pure energy and unadulterated thought for things that they did as entities of meat and bursts of electrical and chemical exchanges.

    Meanwhile, given that we have no proof of any kind of afterlife, I’d much prefer to punish these people within this realm. Which, I guess, is another argument for keeping them alive: Then at least you can be fairly certain there’s some level of suffering they’re experiencing. If they die and there’s no afterlife, then they’re completely freed of, well, everything. If they die and God is just and rational and takes into account the limitations intrinsic to thinking meat, then there is no hell and they’re not really suffering. If they die and God is the fundie nutcase sadist version, then there’s a hell and they’re suffering, but big deal because basically everyone else will be as well, so the “punishment” kind of loses its meaning. (It’ll also eventually become normalized and, thus, not as painful or horrible over time. Though, then the sheer monotony of it will in itself be a kind of hell.)

    BreathingMeat: Hahaha, I suppose. Though, my point was more the lack of distinction between degrees of murder.

    1. Unfortunately, punishing people “in this realm” for murder doesn’t always work. Murderers are at the top of the proverbial food chain in prison. They get respect of anyone below them (that is, inmates with lesser charges). They eat the best foods from the commissary, paid with funds their friends outside put on their books. They even get to sodomize the rapists and the chesters. In other words, prison is a pretty damn good life for them.

      So it’s better to execute them. Sadly, contemporary methods are pretty painless, but it’s the best our society will allow. I long for the days of the gallows and the guillotines.

  31. Jabberwock, I see where you’re coming from there. However, everything we think and do is controlled by what’s essentially a meaty computer. If you extend the idea that we can’t be held accountable for the limitations of our meat far enough, you’ll reach the conclusion that our entire life’s actions and choices are determined by our meaty limitations and outside influences. Then nobody’s responsible for anything, and there’s no point punishing anyone, ever.

    I suppose it all comes down to free will, whether we have and, if so, how much. That’s really in the realm of philosophy, which being a realist I don’t have much to do with, so I’ll leave it there.

  32. Okay, this always really bothered me. Well, more than the other crap in these tracts.

    Why the hell do the angels record every little thing we do in life and make us watch them before Judgement if it all comes down to whether or not we said the words “I accept Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour” right at the end of it all? Actually, why do they call it judgement? Not really much of a grey area there.

  33. “Why the hell do the angels record every little thing we do in life and make us watch them before Judgement if it all comes down to whether or not we said the words “I accept Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour” right at the end of it all?”

    Because the churches still need a way to control their members. Fear, guilt and shame are good ways to get control of people. They need to make it easy for people to join and then hard for them to leave.

    It is kind of like the question, if the law has been abolished why do we still have to follow the tithing portion? Answer: because churches need revenue.

  34. Can you make a plush doll version of Sonny from panel 4 (where he is clubbing that old man)? He is just so damn cute in that panel! He’s like a big ol’ teddy bear.

  35. Don’t ask me why, but Bohemian Rhapsody seems wholly appropriate for this tract.

    “Mama, just killed a [Captain CAVE]man . . .”

  36. We had to hang the mother she was the only one with a neck!

    One point to be made on all these crime and punishment comments is that unless you were actually an all seeing god there is no way for you to be sure that you are punishing a guilty person. It always disturbs me that we are so keen on punishment without thinking that if even one inocent person would be subjected to torture on our behalf by society then we are all moraly cupable for that injustice (should we all be tortured in turn?).

    It is all very well to say murders and rapists ‘deserve’ it but we really have no way of knowing that our judgement is infalible when convicting these people we should be careful before alowing our outrage to dictate how they are treated. What do you say to someone you have tortured for twenty years when they turn out to be inocent?

    I like to think that heaven and hell are a state of mind, in this life or the next those guilty of atrocities cannot help but suffer for the things they have done… being able to look yourself in the eye in the mirror is a freedom that you take for granted til it’s gone.

  37. Who, in life is the sadder person?
    Chick? Or those folks on his staff who say,”Damn, J.C. Another winner! We gotta get those presses rollin’!”

  38. An excellent dissection, as always.

    I found this tract while bored out of my skull, and thought, “If Jabberwock dissected this one, I’d die laughing at what he’d probably do to it.” I’ll link you to it, it would be awesome if you could do this one:

    I’m half-asleep right now and I’m so disoriented, I almost linked you to some porn. Don’t ask how that almost happened. Now for bed.

  39. Well, I’m currently working on one involving David and Goliath (I think that’s the actual title of the Tract as well). It’s basically an ancient re-enactment of Halo 2 with a cameo from one of the actual characters.

    What am I talking about? You’ll see . . .

  40. To Arc:

    Okay, those where the worst looking kids I have ever seen…they look worse then the mutants in The Hills Have Eyes…

    And by the way, I like snakes. Snakes are cool. Snakes don’t behave like that…

  41. “you’ll reach the conclusion that our entire life’s actions and choices are determined by our meaty limitations and outside influences. Then nobody’s responsible for anything, and there’s no point punishing anyone, ever.”

    True(you could argue the same point on the basis of determinism) but I disagree with the last sentence. We can still punish people to protect society, or as a deterrent, or as an attempt at reform. We just can’t do it for purely retributionist reasons.

  42. Oh my fucking God.

    What is this world coming too? What kind of sick society would actually allow this disgusting atrocity to continue? If they don’t like the name of their “Prophet” being insulted, why do they name their children after him?

    To impse religious restrictions on oneself that prohibit normal, human actions is to set yourself up to break them. Thus, religion breeds hypocrisy in many people.


    Wonder what they think of the above.

    On a lighter note, I fund this on the RDFRS site. A nice gap – sorry, a huge fucking rift – in the car market is about to be made:,1872,Malaysia-firms-Muslim-car-plan,BBC

  43. fdragon:

    I agree fully. I almost had a nightmare about some of those faces. They look like inbred brothers with different combinations of parents.

    I was thumbing through some tracts out of boredom again, and saw this one that was BEGGING to be dissected:

    I have never said WTF so many times before. I have a feeling there are a lot worse than this, but it’s bad.

  44. the problem with ‘the tycoon’ is that it assumes that buddhists are as self-centered, greedy and full of shit as fundamentalist christians are.
    “but lord buddha* was born BEFORE jesus, wasn’t he?”
    “…yes, if you think of jesus as a PERSON, which he clearly wasn’t you stupid heathen.”

    *no one calls him lord buddha. because he wasn’t a god. he was just the first dude to find enlightenment. not everyone is dumb enough to think “oh hey that guy’s all enlightened. HE MUST BE A GOD”

    i admire your patience. i always try to write out an argument about the things i find wrong and fucked up in these tracts, but i always give up halfway through because it’s HUGE. not to mention frustrating.

  45. Why the hell is Sonny so shocked that his mom was executed in his place? Even though he constantly showed how much he hated her and her cookies, which he kept taking by the way, he seems horrified that she would die for him.

    I’m guessing Chick does not even let someone proofread these comics.

  46. I’d just like to correct one small error:

    If the old man had enough money on him to be grand felony (which is not a large amount of money), then the crime would be murder while committing a felony which is in first degree murder.

  47. @ Carrie Ganne:

    Well, he certainly would have to be careful who he has proofread them, considering anyone actually using their brain could tear the thing to shreds, as so aptly demonstrated by Jabberwock et al here..:)

  48. OK, Jack, you’ve convinced me. IF Jesus will give me cookies, I’ll chew the carpet for Him.

    Chocolate Chip. No substitutions!

  49. Page 5: Maybe the trial took place in Texas. It’s considered capital punishment if (assuming he’s mentally stable,) he carries out a premeditated murder while committing or attempting to commit another felony, such as robbery.

    Then again, if memory serves, there wasn’t a hanging in Texas since 1923…

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  51. I totally lost it at the “Captain CAAAAAAAVE-MAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAAAANNNNNN!!” line. Oh, your dissections are so fun to read, Jabber.

  52. You could lose the will to live reading that tract, and I’ve seen loads of Chick tracts with their shitty drawings and improbable stories.Years ago, my father read one for the first time and he was astonished that anyone could be expected to be convinced by it.Does this Chick guy even live in the same world as me and you? Just about every tract depicts the ‘real’ Christians as humble, sweet, innocent and docile looking, whilst everyone else ranges from hard faced to downright brutal, lumpen and hideous, usually sporting tattoos and with arms like tree trunks. Everything and everyone outside of this guy’s minuscule orbit is considered fair game-muslims,mormons,Jehovah’ Witnesses,Catholics, Freemasons,gays,punks, rock music, science etc etc. Nearly every tract depicts a scene in heaven where a sinister,glowing and faceless God condemns Roman Catholics, muslims, et al to the lake of fire,all because they didn’t read Chick tracts, tick the right boxes on the last page,then chew the carpet and grovel with the ‘right’ magic words and get saved. Almost always in these vastly improbable scenarios is a comical looking demon inculcating rebellion against God and a warning or admonition at the end to chooose either Jesus or the lake of fire. But you know, a few other brands of Christianity aren’t too disimilar. Take the Jehovah’s Witnesses-I have had debates with them and told them what is surely the truth, that all religions believe they are right and everyone else is wrong and that it stirs up trouble, big time. They actually agreed that religion does cause trouble, only to then go onto say that they alone have the truth. To put it another way: ‘Yes. Religion is shit, but our shit smells better.’ There is a Chick track that was withdrawn many years ago, titled ‘Lisa’-briefly it told the story of a jobless, porn addicted father sexually abusing his six or seven year old daughter whilst his wife went out to work. The girl contracts a sexually transmitted disease and the family doctor sussed what had happened. Now get this-the doctor didn’t inform the police, he just urged the girls father to turn to Jesus instead. He does, and the tract ends with the now meek and humble looking father telling his sheepish, teddy bear hugging daughter that he will no longer hurt her as he has now ‘found Jesus’ Ugh!! That just makes you want to puke! Finally, there is one thing I believe Chick hasn’t had a pop at, as far as I know, and that is Alternative Medicine. I bring this up because there are fundies who actually believe such therapy is sorcery and playing into the Devil’s hands. Oh, I see, so every time someone opens a bottle of homeopathic pills, Satan is right there, ready and waiting to administer the miracle cure, because fundies ‘know’, of course, these pills simply cannot work. Not that these people would consider a placebo effect, oh no. It’s just obvious that only a complete and utter pea-brained arsehole would call such therapies ‘sorcery’ when much more obvious and believable explanations suffice.

  53. “Jack seems to believe that the death penalty doesn’t attempt to serve any purpose, but is instead, oh, I don’t know, some kind of ritualistic human sacrifice to appease the Goddess of Punishment or something.”

    Well, perhaps fundies (or Mr. Chick in particular) have realised that death penalty doesn’t actually serve any purpose, but is instead a ritualistic human sacrifice to appease the God(dess) of Punishment. They’re just afraid to say it out loud.

  54. The reason he didn’t resist arrest, and this is the logical conclusion my sheltered dumb self had to come up with in light of a lack of pychological knowledge, is that he lost the will when his only friend, the rat, abandoned him.

    On a random note, this was one of the most early influential art directions I ever got out of Jack’s tracts.
    Not sure why, but I love how he drew the police officers in this. Particularly when the cop guy is about to reveal that his Mom took his place, the one where JbWocky said “You could chop firewood on that guy’s face.

  55. “Jesus looks like he’s imploring all of us to shoot a game of hoops with him.”

    Now I can’t the image out of my head of a huge Jesus dribbling the Earth and then dunking it though, say, Saturn’s rings or something.

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