Many other sites have written about this, so I might as well, too.

I’ve noticed that blogrolls often operate much like big business: The ones that are already entrenched are nearly ubiquitous, while the smaller ones — the ones in much greater need of linkage (some say blogrolls don’t count for much, but every bit is important, especially when you’re dealing with Google algorithms) — have a hell of a time competing for readership.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of great Heavy Hitters (e.g. FireDogLake) who link to a lot of us smaller sites, and it’s really awesome that they do that. But unfortunately, there are a lot of other upper-echelon bloggers who tend mostly to just link to each other, which is sad because there are a lot of other smaller sites with great, interesting content that need another link much more than, say, Daily Kos (which, well, Markos reportedly doesn’t like to link to many smaller blogs, and claims that blogrolls don’t do much anyway).

So for anyone interested in my blogrolling policy: If you link to me, I’ll link to you. Of course, there are the obvious exceptions: I’m not about to link to KKK advocates, Kinderfickers, homophobes, you know, the usual lot of general rejects. But otherwise, that’s all there is to it — link to me, and I’ll link back. But you have to let me know, because I don’t always catch all the incoming links.

Anyway, just so you all know, in case you were curious, there it is.

Chick Dissection tomorrow, followed by hopefully more frequent content again. I’ve been rather busy and distracted the last few weeks, so haven’t been able to put much up during the week between Dissections.

Iraq war czar: Consider a draft. They apparently finally arrived at the stunning revelation that if you treat your military poorly, it might lead some of them to quit when they can, and to discourage future enlistment. HOLY SHIT, YOU REALLY THINK? Their response, of course, isn’t, oh, say, better military strategy, or not shoving our illusory but still priapic American Might all over the damn world, or to stop lying about the people who actually attacked our country in order to fulfill an agenda that had been thought up many years before by many people involved with if not actually members of this current administration, but to pay for their mistakes with even more American blood by tossing in a bunch of reluctant countrymen so we can kill off about half the country before anyone is fucking finally forced into admitting that THE IRAQ WAR IS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN A GODDAMNED STUPID IDEA PREDICATED ON MISINFORMATION. Among other things we’re advised to “consider”:

- Shoving our hand into a drawer and slamming it repeatedly.
- Bleaching our urethrae.
- Replacing our table salt with cyanide.
- Shaving our nipples with a sharpened quarter.
- Pressing our infants through a shopping cart.
- Underwear made entirely from leaking 9v batteries.
- Contracting scabies.
- Sandpaper contact lenses.
- Punching ourselves repeatedly in the face.
- Self-immolation.
- Selecting the silver ball from all the objects in front of us on the table. No, I know the last three hundred times we tried it, it shocked us. This time, it will be different, seriously.

Though it may be entirely hard to believe, it turns out Rudy Giuliani “misspoke about” 9/11 and ground zero. Said Giuliani, “okay, now, when I said I was ‘exposed to the same health risks’ as rescue workers, what I meant was, I was ‘exposed to the same health risks’ as they were the day before 9/11, when many of them were in various offices doing their usual jobs. And when I said I was there ‘as often, if not more, than most of the workers’, I meant New York City, not the site of the former World Trade Center’s Twin Towers. What I… what I was trying to say is that ‘I was there’ in much the same way everyone else was there who was watching from somewhere other than New York City — with our hearts, our big American hearts. 9/11. 9/11 9/11, September the eleventh. Of September. Don’t want another one of THOSE, do you? Vote Rudy. I know I didn’t prevent it last time, but at least I ran around with a bullhorn. Who else is going to do that for you, huh? Oh, wait… Tom Green. I forgot.”

Actually, here’s what he really said, which isn’t much better: “You know, what I was saying was, ‘I’m there with you.’” … “What I was trying to say yesterday is that I empathize with them, because I feel like I have that same risk.”

Like always, a few fun ones from Pandagon:

Do you believe in magic?â„¢ Marketing magic? A recent study found that children are more likely to prefer food in McDonald’s wrappers to the exact same food in unmarked wrappers. In a couple related stories, Altria Group Inc. has announced that their popular Marlboro brand of cigarettes will be renamed McMarlboro, and every member of the infamous pedophilia group NAMBLA has filed to legally change their names to Ronald McDonald. Asked for a comment, both Altria and a NAMBLA representative issued the same response: “I’m lovin’ it!” (Yeah, it’s kind of a crappy joke; I was going to go with something like: “Vatican to issue official change to priests’ wardrobes: Underwear fashioned from McDonald’s wrappers now ‘acceptable and mandatory’ attire.” but figured it might be too dated.)

This story isn’t really a surprise, but a Young Republican National Federation chair allegedly gave non-consensual oral sex to a sleeping man. Of actual note in this story is the Young Republican National Federation’s response to this story, which is to eliminate any reference to the perpetrator from their website. No wonder so many of them think the world is only 6,000 years old, given all the embarrassing things they’ve tried scrubbing out of history. (“Vhat vahr? Ve vere all on vacation!”) These are the people conservatives want to elect into power to control the country. Glorious.

One last one from Pandagon, a Republican Florida State Representative solicits sex from an undercover cop. Now, I have no problem with soliciting sex; I’m completely in favor of legalizing prostitution. Of note here, though, aside from his blatant hypocrisy in siding with the Religious Right, is the racist way he tried to cover it up: Basically, “a big black man scared me into giving him head!” Authorities believe this is the same Big Black Man responsible for the death of Jean-Benet Ramsey, the vehicular drowning deaths of Susan Smith’s two boys, the “real murderer” O.J. Simpson has been seeking, and is wanted for questioning in seven thousand insurance fraud investigations in the United States.

Just what is it, by the way, with Republican officials wanting so desperately to perform oral sex on other men?

In what is hoped by some to be the start of better relations with France, Bush hosts Sarkozy for a ‘heart-to-heart’ talk. Said Bush, “He’s bringing a good brain, good vision and goodwill.” He added, “and since he’s got those covered, I’m bringin’ the beer!” From the article:

As if to pound home the point that the event was a casual one, the White House put no seafood entree on the menu in a region renowned for its lobster. Instead, the visiting president got American picnic fare of hot dogs, hamburgers, baked beans and fresh dessert.

“If he feels like it, he can have him a piece of blueberry pie,” Bush declared.

He further explained that a panel of inquisitors would be convened to ensure that the French leader truly “feels like it” and isn’t just being polite. “I need to know,” said Bush. “If he has nothing to hide, then he shouldn’t be worried.”

In case you were wondering about how Iowans felt about Republican presidential candidates, Mitt Romney won some stupid straw poll in Iowa. Hey, here’s a fucking thought: Instead of blowing a whole ton of money for your glorified dick-measuring contest, why not do something that might actually matter with it, like found an orphanage, or pay for an entire lower-income neighborhood’s meals for a year? From the article:

“The people of this great state have sent a message to the rest of the country,” said Romney. “Change starts in Iowa.”

And what a change it was, with the completely mind-boggling, totally unexpected outcome of the candidate who spent the most money winning. Surely this is the start of the next great American revolution, Mitt.

Hold on a second, there, pal — did you remember to fill out your Reincarnation Application? You’d better not die until you fill out this paperwork. We’ve stationed a bureaucrat in the in-between-worlds — he’ll stop you from passing on to the next life if you haven’t filled out the appropriate form. Next on the agenda: An application to get a song stuck in your head (must be filled out in triplicate), followed by a petition to have a thought about sex with an attractive person (required: fifty signatures), rounded up by an official request to pray quietly in private (to be filled out no later than fourteen days prior to the intended event).

As if there isn’t already enough inaccurate information in the world, “Doctor” “Kent” “Hovind” presents his hundred reasons evolution is stupid, which is a presentation not unlike taking a herd of thirsty bulls to a swimming pool filled with prune juice. Just his joking, palsy (you can read that as either palling around or the shaky kind of paralysis) little monologues are terrifically grating. When he gets to the “science” of it, it becomes unwatchable. Basically, the idea is, “we don’t understand it (or, more accurately, it doesn’t fit in with our existing prejudices), therefore it isn’t real”. Maybe it’s just that I went to public school, but I don’t remember ever being taught the part of the scientific method that involves some guy saying “I don’t get this, so it’s bullshit”. (Thanks to reader Ashley. Heh, well, inasmuch as a person can really be thanked for such a thing.)

Via Spinn comes an interesting story about Kansas state’s GOP forming a loyalty committee. You’re either with us with us, or against us with us, or against us against us. Hey, if you can’t win by being elected, or by unfair redistricting, or by rigging voting machines, you can win by reanimating Joe McCarthy’s maggoty corpse to parade around jabbing its stiff zombie finger at all the ‘traitors’. GOP to freedom: “Eat a bag of dick!”

It’s that time of the election cycle again, when we discover which Democrats are so eager for the homophobic vote but still desperate for the gay vote that they’ll give ambiguous non-answers in firm, resolute non-lack of un-support of maybe gay rights sort of. As noted in the article, the GOP candidates won’t be showing up. Instead, you can find them all at the “Gays: Lynch them or just beat them?” debate, broadcast live on FOX News.

The guy in the picture, by the way, looks like he only just became aware he was being photographed. Or kissed, for that matter.

CNN.com takes a break from its regularly slated practically-actually-news lineup to inform us that “Bertinelli no stranger to f-word, (fat)“. This is an otherwise completely non-news bit of information, but why did they have to set it up with the “f-word” headline? Like, were they expecting to shatter the notion held by a handful of misguided people that a woman who had a child with a rock star was unfamiliar with fucking? Like, I can just imagine, “oh my, Valerie Bertinelli is no stranger to fucking? Ahhhh, wait, no, it’s fat — the ‘f-word’ is ‘fat’.” And it’s not just “fat”, it’s “(fat)”, like it’s some kind of secret.

This just in: Grand Theft Auto IV to be renamed Grand Theft Auto IV: Duke Nukem Forever.

Okay, this is complete nonsense. a) How is receiving money from a defective ATM in any way illegal, unless you’ve rigged the machine yourself to make the payments? b) Really, it’s the fault of the bank for putting so much faith in the machine and not checking it for so long. This is one of the things you risk by automating your services. A customer who receives the wrong amount can hardly be blamed. If one receives incorrect change at the grocery store, it’s the clerk’s fault, not the customer’s. Yeah, go after the guy who fucked with it, but it’s completely unreasonable and downright fascist to try to criminally charge customers who were given money from a fucked up machine. If I had an account with this bank, I’d pull it if they actually tried to prosecute customers who received extra money in error. Considering how much money banks make, they should just eat the loss and learn from their mistake.

Meanwhile, sometimes I think I’d much rather have a fair dictatorship than an unfair democracy. And, I mean, can we even really call what we have “democracy” anymore? Just because people can vote, that doesn’t mean the system works. It’s like saying that a computer works because people can press keys on the keyboard. If the computer’s exhibited behavior doesn’t correspond to user input, then no, the computer doesn’t work.

If the existence of lobbyists doesn’t convince the public that we don’t actually have representational democracy, and politically-motivated redistricting doesn’t, and the 2000 election didn’t, and the 2004 election didn’t, and this news doesn’t, well what the fuck is it going to take? So many people think democracy is the most precious American freedom — it’s a shame none of them actually have it. Somehow, to them, democracy is only in danger from foreign invaders, never from our own government. They make so much of a clamor over their Second Amendment rights without apparently any grasp on the purpose of such rights’ existence.

From Curmudgette comes a disturbing insight into National Review readers’ minds that helps further demonstrate why perhaps the current American implementation of “democracy” is maybe not the greatest and fairest idea in the world after all. With people like this gunning for power (and others being so apathetic, generally complicit or ignorant that they actually succeed) and ultimately becoming so influential in American politics, who needs enemies? All the terrorists really need to do to destroy America is contribute to the Republican party, fundamentalist religious groups, magazines like the National Review, and organizations like the Heritage Foundation.

By the way, Global Warming is a total myth. Yep, total bullshit. Nothing’s getting warmer. Nothing to see here. John Stossel is totally right!

Why do all these lights keep showing up in the skies all over the UK? Some kind of government aircraft testing? Bizarre atmospheric conditions? OMG ALIENZ? Not really sure what to say about it. It’s just weird, is all. Wonder if they’ll show up again in another couple months.

I’m somewhat arachnophobic, but this goofy-assed jumping spider mating dance amuses me almost enough to like the little fuckers. In a more amusing universe, humans would have to do stuff like this pre-coitus. In a more functional respect, any embarrassment that could possibly be had during sex would be offset by the fact that you’d made a total ass of yourself, stomping around wiggling your arms in the air and slapping your hands on the floor first.

Oh, come on, internet! Like I really needed any more proof that Christopher Walken fucking rocks. This video makes me wish I had a bigger kitchen. Damn, that looks tasty.