Chick Dissection | The Last Generation

Big Brother’s nightmarish world order is just around the corner. Christ is coming soon for believers. Will you be left behind?

Yes, if George Orwell supported anything, it was the kind of religio-fascist state that fundamentalists want to implement, where art is “censored” to ensure that the people are protected from the vileness of the sight of a person’s genitals, where gays are persecuted into hiding or feigning conformity out of fear of unjustified punishment, where sexual deviants and subversives are treated as second-class citizens, where every miscarriage is accompanied by a murder investigation, where people are forced to worship a God they don’t believe exists, and basically every other message that has ever appeared in a Chick Tract. And for those of you who may not have read it, 1984 is all about a governmental system that exclusively persecutes fundamentalist Christian beliefs, and everyone is free to do whatever else they want as long as it’s not “believe in God”.

Give me a fucking break. Rather feeble an attempt at making it seem like being religious is somehow subversive, and that George Orwell was on their side, or something.

Not only that, but “just around the corner”? Hey, everyone! Be scared into believing in God before all the nations of the world somehow arbitrarily set aside their differences and agree to be governed by a central force of violently anti-God fascists! IT’S SRSLY GONNA HAPPEN 4 REELZ U GUYS! I MEAN IT!


Gyah! It’s like the Riddler meets the Ku Klux Klan: “N*gger me this, Batman!”

Ah, religion in the not too distant future — this must be Next Sunday A.D.

Glad to see they’ll still have smiley, soulless shitheels delivering our news reports in the future. It’s like he’s trying to perform fusion with his fucking teeth. And doesn’t he know it’s a bad idea to wear stripes on TV?

Take away the beard, and the guy on the right is almost Dick Cheney. Or… wait… Gregory Peck?

Who the fuck would take orders from judges who wear plaid robes? Oh my God — the future is run by Scotsmen!

So it’s still fine, then, for people to say that Jesus Christ is simply a way to get into heaven? This entire concept is ridiculous, by the way. I mean, just the way he phrases it. Why would this — this particular idea, that “Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to the Father in Heaven” — be so damned important? The amount of resources required to execute everyone accused of this, let alone to arrest and process them, is unfathomable. This strikes me more as a manifestation of Jack’s paranoid persecution complex, here. “Our government is going to specifically outlaw uttering this particular phrase. They’re targeting us! We’re victims!”

I’m interested in their flag. What do the stripes represent?

“Yay, guys! We’ll get all this stuff! It’s like this big game show hosted by Jesus! Come on, everyone — let’s play the ‘Believe In God, Die, and Get a Whole Bunch of Luxury Shit’ game!”

Ah, hell, not Pascal’s Wager again. Just… just no. Of course, in this situation, it’s actually somewhat inaccurate and pretty stupid: The premise of this Tract is that overtly believing in God puts you in danger of losing your life. So, well, you kind of have your physical existence to lose. Believing and being right means you lose your life and go to heaven. Believing and being wrong means you lose your life for nothing. Not believing and being right means you live and lose nothing. Not believing and being wrong means you live and then go to hell. And, well, any God who wants people to die just to be overtly and obnoxiously faithful is not one I want to spend an eternity with. So believing is a pretty damn stupid thing to do across the board.

“Hey, you guys think I should get that nose job? I’m just… this huge honking schnoz on the front of my head is just really distracting. Like… look… look, when I cross my eyes, it’s, like, right there just jutting out of my head. Speaking of eyes, do you guys think I should get my eyes bulged while I’m at it? They can do that now. I think they put plastic discs in the back of the socket. They’re just really beady and small — I’d like to have them bulged.”

It’s almost the opposite of the “Jewify villains” effect common to Chick Tracts: The protagonists in this one actually have nearly no nose at all. It’s like he had a marathon make-out session with a belt sander or something.

I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen a footnote before the asterisked referencing word or phrase.

Star Tract: The Last Generation! Chick: The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Proselytize. Its continuing mission: to convert strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations and scare or confuse them into believing what we do, to blindly believe whatever we’re told.

You know, why couldn’t he have just used one large speech bubble in the second panel? Was it really more important that we see that little strip of clouds behind them than to retain the flow of dialog?

The guy on the left looks like he’s trying to twist his own neck until it breaks. “Oh, no, I’m completely interested in everything you’re saying. My trying to break my neck has absolutely nothing to do with your powerfully boring, seemingly endless rambling.”

“As Christians, we have everything! This world? This world doesn’t have a damn thing. It’s like fuckin’ black and white TV, man. But in heaven, we get all this awesome shit! Like, a mansion… a Lexus… jet-skis… HDTV… consumer electronics… fuck, I mean, in heaven, they’ve got, like, Playstation 8, man! And, like… I think we get water-beds, and… oh, a bitchin’ stereo system. You know, like, one of those ones where the speakers are all built into the walls and ceilings and stuff. Oh, and we each get a lifetime Netflix subscription. The angels run it up there, it’s really neat. And those footrub chair things from Sharper Image. Oooh, and a tie organizer! Forgot about that. It’s all outlined in the Bible. I mean, I’ve never read it, but it’s what everyone says. Just, like, we get a bunch of stuff, man. For our souls.”

“Man, isn’t it GREAT that the world is getting worse? I hope it turns to COMPLETE shit so that JESUS will come! Come on, everyone — let’s find some nuclear waste and dump it in a river! And then let’s incite a riot! And shit on things! No reason to try to make the world a better place or anything. Fuck it — Jesus is coming!”

This is the kind of garbage that makes fundamentalism an inescapable vortex for the simple-minded: Awful things happening to God’s beloved creation are signs of God’s presence, not his absence. Just accept it as a test, and don’t let anyone shake your faith!

Uh-oh — the monster. Maybe they call him that because of his Tourette’s Syndrome, all barking out obscenities at random, alone, in the middle of the sidewalk.

Okay, come the fuck on. Even the most secular of liberals are trying to expand marriage to include gays. Why would we suddenly start rooting for mandatory divorce laws?

It’s a hyper-aggressive, fascist, violent, angry future, and the best kids can come up with to call each other is “slime”?

“Hey, I have an idea, Bobby! Let’s shake hands for no reason!”

**SPOILER ALERT** (Bobby won’t live long.)

Yep, if you’re not religious, you kill puppies. That’s some sound-assed logic, right there.

Kid’s channeling Mister T in the second panel. “I pity the fool who love an animal!”

LIE! This is like the end of Logan’s Run: “Carousel is a LIE! There is no renewal!”

I think Chick’s ghost artist pal is maybe going a little overboard vilifying this horrible little shitstain. I mean, come on — no kid is THAT obnoxiously hideous, and hideously obnoxious.

GYAAAGGHHH! WHAT THE… FUCKING… SHITMINISTER FUCKVOMIT FUCKING KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! HURRY BEFORE IT EATS US ALL!

The “Mother Goddess” must be a leopard or cheetah or dalmatian or something.

“Yes, you too can win a trip to the thrilling and luxurious Camp 009-H735! Let’s play… Do You Want to Join Larry’s Mom?” [audience applause] [host prancing onto the stage, bowing]

“Old crud”? That’s the best he can come up with? He can’t even pull out a “@!!!**!”? And why the hell is the roof of a building calling someone names in the first place?

Dispensationalism is fucking retarded. “Everyone’s going to magically come back from the dead and be immortal! We’ll all have mansions! Jesus is going to come down, and meet up with the reembodied saints! All the unfaithful will die violent and horrible deaths at the hands of a loving God! It’s going to happen any minute. I mean it, you guys! I know we’ve been saying this for hundreds of years, but it’s really just right around the corner.” Might as well tack on a passage about how everyone who wakes up gets to ride a magical beast called a Wish Dragon who’ll grant you anything you want while spitting fire on the unbelievers.

There is no way this is the “near future”. Just think of how long it’s going to take to demolish all existing construction and rebuild square little hovels with numbers painted on the roofs.

So, either God isn’t omnipotent, or he’s just spectacularly bad at using his omnipotence. Why all this contrived, fantasyland bullshit? Why this big war where Jesus comes back to overthrow some fascist Satanic dictator who rules the entire planet for seven arbitrary years?

Hey, I know! Let’s contrive this up even more: Immediately following the Rapture, all remaining humans will have their left legs severed at the knee. The amputation will be performed by Noah, who will be resurrected specifically for this purpose, and will be either below or above the knee, depending on whether the number of times they ever entered a church is odd or even. Their legs will be replaced with small filing cabinets filled with spiders, raw feces, and copies of the movie Gigli. God will allow a band of evil men to anally rape every living creature on the planet using carrots, the Devil’s Vegetable. Those who were faithful, but not quite faithful enough, will be taken halfway to heaven, and then dropped. They will then be devoured by bears. Four years into the Tribulation, God will demand that every capable man, woman and child replenish the population. He will temporarily suspend, as he has in the past, his regulations regarding sexual intercourse during this time. Just before the Battle of Armageddon, eighteen mountain gorillas will gather at Stonehenge, using their might to topple the structure to the ground. This will signal the coming of Jesus. Jesus will then perform a special dance for each person remaining on the planet, individually. This dance will kill them. They will be taken via land and sea transportation (airplanes would interfere with angel traffic) to a special room in Jerusalem for this occasion, using money that a resurrected Paul earns from years of very difficult and dangerous crab fishing near Alaska. After that, Jesus will clean the entire surface of the planet using a toothbrush, a single Brillo pad, and a vacuum cleaner that can only work if he inhales into the tube. Because God is omnipotent, and loves man, he will do all this.

In the future, classrooms will be replaced with creepy reaching hand gardens.

Ah, yes, New Age pseudoscience is going to be the driving force behind the global government of the future. HEAD ON — APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE CONSTITUTION! HEAD ON — APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE CONSTITUTION! I mean, I thought Jack was under the impression that his arch-nemesis science is corrupting the future — why would everyone suddenly start buying into crazy shit like the idea that if you drop a single droplet of peppermint into five gallons of water, then you take a single droplet of THAT mixture and put it into another five gallons of water, then continue the process about eight more times, and then you sip a tablespoon of that, it’s an effective cure for sinus infections?

And is it completely beyond Chick’s ability to imagine a world where a government isn’t influenced by ANY religion AT ALL? Why does it have to be Chick’s goofy-assed religious beliefs versus some equally ridiculous theology? “The Queen of Heaven”? What the hell kind of silly shit is that?

It’s like someone drove a tiny motorcycle over his eye about a hundred times, then dressed him up like an overgrown superhero Christmas elf.

Does this kid really have to look this absolutely sinister? Well, considering Jack’s message is so weak he has to rely on this tactic of getting his readers to want to hate his antagonists just by looking at them, I suppose he does.

So how is the promise of a “big reward” in heaven necessarily a better motivator to action than the promise of a “big reward” in this lifetime? And I guess people generally can’t actually, y’know, just do things — there has to be some kind of carrot on the end of a stick to appeal to a person’s self interests.

So who’s this guy, now? He seems vaguely familiar, but I don’t quite recognize him. Have we seen him yet in the Tract? Chick’s ghost artist Fred Carter may be a better artist, but he’s horrible at consistency.

“Well, Bobby, I’m going to answer your question for no real reason, knowing full well that I’m jeopardizing my life to achieve no discernible gain. I suppose I could just not answer your question, but that would just be non-conducive to this ridiculous fucking plot line.”

Heil!

That little fucker’s just a ball of piss-steaming hatred, isn’t he? Why they don’t just lock him in a room and feed him under the door is beyond me.

He’s not addressing Charles, he’s demanding that they “Hurry Charles”. In the next sentence, it looks like he’s addressing a man named Paul, telling him to take Connie and her unnamed brother to the cabin. COMMAS, JACK.

I like how this is Jack’s vision of what a non-Christian-dominated government is. Nobody can just not give a shit about what other people believe. Eliminating religious influence from government means that New Age bullshit ends up taking over, and people worship the Queen of Heaven. (Which is, erm… still religion, if I’m not mistaken.) This would be the result of secularization of government. Instead of, y’know, getting rid of all religious influence in government policy, and ensuring that people can’t oppress each other on the basis of religious beliefs.

Oh, also: Christianity never results in situations like this.

Mmm, bald men applying nipple electrodes and screaming about Jesus. Add in a bear licking mustard from an old boat, and a plate on top of a fridge with three pieces of asparagus barely touching each other, and this could be a sexual fantasy plucked right from my mind.

What the hell is she doing? Polishing the horns of a mounted deer head? Preparing for a trapeze swing through the living room? Throwing the lever to bring their reanimated monster to life? Jerking off Bao Xishun?

Man, everyone in the future is just a total asshole dipshit, aren’t they? Either they’re condescending religious assholes, vicious little brats who can do nothing but spew hatred, or people who’ll turn in their own siblings to avoid the unlikely outcome of someone finding their cabin in the middle of nowhere, somehow discovering they’re Christians, and then torturing them all. Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Chick is making all of this up!

Pfft, “Free Drugs”. Yeah, a fascist, oppressive government is going to hand out free drugs to its citizens.

Nice ass. Did he sit on a grill or something?

Well, that’s convenient.

Nah, they heard the helicopter coming, stripped naked and ran through the forest to become one with nature.

Why does it have to be “in the air”? Why can’t I meet him at a coffee shop somewhere? I mean, there’s just not much to do in the air. If I’m going to be meeting Jesus, I don’t just want to float there awkwardly trying to make small talk.

o/` Rah rah 3:16, lover of the Russian queen / God sent his son so he could be bled. / Rah rah 3:16, Russia’s greatest love machine / They crucified him till he was dead.

“[C]ometh unto the Father (in heaven)”? That’s quite a long distance to ejaculate.

Wait, Bobby grew up? I thought it said earlier that he “[wouldn’t] live long”.

Jesus doesn’t have a nose, either. I guess the holier you get, the smaller your nose. That must be why God’s face is completely devoid of features.


This is one of the most baffling Tracts Jack has ever made. Though he’s constantly arguing against secularization of government, somehow he thinks that the future will be ruled by some bizarre, New Age, Mother-Goddess-worshipping fascist dictatorship that specifically oppresses people who think “Jesus is the ONLY way to heaven”. It’s… just… retarded.

Not only that, but this entire perspective is rather dangerous. There’s this fatalist “we are the last generation” bullshit — which, by the way, the last, oh, say, DOZEN FUCKING GENERATIONS have believed — that gets people to not give a shit about the future. Like, “Fuck tomorrow, man — let’s exacerbate the horrible conditions, because it means Jesus is gonna be coming! Seriously, he’s, like, just right there at the fucking door, man. Like, count to five. Right now, start counting. ‘Cause by the time you get to four, motherfucker, he’s gonna be stomping down into this place ready to take us to heaven.” It’s extraordinarily self-centered, and is at least part of the reason we have all the problems we currently do.

87 thoughts on “Chick Dissection | The Last Generation”

  1. Just to clarify, “Queen of Heaven” is the Roman title for the Egyptian goddess Isis and the Roman Catholic title for the Blessed Virgin Mary. One of Chick’s pet…err…projects has been “proving” that the Roman Catholic Church is not a Christian denomination but is instead a continuation of the ancient Egyptian religion — see “Death Cookie”.

  2. “Death Cookie” sounds like a pretty good name for a neo-punk band. I like the portentiousness of ‘death’ coupled with the silliness inherent in ‘cookie’.

    I bet you five dollars that Chick is stock piling arms against the day the Canadian mounties kick in his door and try to force him to recant.

    “Believe in Christ! Because hate-mongering is only okay when WE do it!”

  3. Why would all the houses need their street numbers painted on the roof in giant numerals like that? Maybe he thinks that in the future the mail will be delivered by helicopters? Or by owls, like in Harry Potter?

    1. Infidel, the houses have those enormous numbers on their roofs to make it easy for The Black Helicopters to identify the homes of reported “sickos”.

  4. “Death Cookie! Gonna fucking kill you with sugary goodness! Give you diabetes, fill you with lewdness!”

  5. And what’s that thing in their house in the fifth panel, with the narrow stem like a floor lamp and three candles on top? Looks occultic. If it’s a fundie thing, I’ve never seen one before.

  6. Haha! I just read the death cookie tract. The first four panels or so are the most hilarious things I’ve seen from this guy. It basically describes how most religions function as a rule, through fear and lies. The more of these things I read the more I think that there’s absolutely no way Chick believes a word he’s preaching. I’m really starting to think that he’s the greatest satirist the world has ever seen.

  7. Okay, I swear, did anyone else think from the first few panels that the Christian family was planning a suicide bombing?

    By the way… “An oppressive government would totally hand out free drugs to its citizens”… didn’t the government in Brave New World do that? Although this is a comparison to 1984, which is quite different…. Ah, I’m just splitting hairs.

    Hilarious tract, as always.

    1. The government in Brave New World seems at worst to be mildly oppressive? If you don’t like to integrate into their society they put you in a reservation or ship you to an island of your choice. They use social convention and shame to keep you in line rather than force and terror.

  8. “Star Tract: The Last Generation! Chick: The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Proselytize. Its continuing mission: to convert strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations and scare or confuse them into believing what we do, to blindly believe whatever we’re told.”

    I can’t decide who would be funniest doing the voice over. This is almost memorization-worthy so I can say it in a Patrick Stewart accent whenever JWs appear at my door. (My other ideas involving JWs include answering the door in a toga and an oak wreath, or naked with a pentacle painted between my breasts).

    HaHA! I’m still laughing over this.

  9. Possible Door Answering Methods for Wandering Priests:
    Casual dress, holding a bloody knife. Say “Oh, I’m sorry, we haven’t finished with the virgin yet. Could you come back later?”

    Turban, submachine gun, wave gun in air and shout “Allah akbah!” (Apologies for my gross misspelling of Arabic.)

    Black robes, hood, face hidden in shadows. Do creepy voice.
    “Yes-ss? Can I h-elp you?

    With arms around same sex partner.

    In any form of overtly religious dress that isn’t theirs.

  10. Really, Chick tries to do WAY too much in this tract. Instead of being crazy on just one level, he’s all over the place, denouncing witches as people who sacrifice animals for Halloween, painting the despotic one-world government as solely persecuting ONLY the Christians (and probably only the ones he happens to agree with), reincarnation (conveniently ignoring all those parts of his dearly-loved Bible which would -support- reincarnation), and making the evil child look and act absolutely repulsive. Seriously, Jack, focus is important!

    And I find it just a little creepy how so many people are waiting anxiously to be swept away into the sky and leave behind an entire world full of people to be enslaved, tortured and generally given a bad run of it. That doesn’t sound much like a loving religion at all – more like it’s just appealing to a lot of people’s desire to be right and have the “last laugh”.

    I really hope that if there IS a moment when people get swept into the sky, God will thunder “Windgardium Leviosa!” across the sky… just for shits and giggles.

    1. Yes, it feels like Chick is throwing everything but the kitchen sink into this one, which is not like him. Usually his tracts focus on one main target, with maybe one or two jibes at his other targets.

  11. AlecKyras (8:50:16 PM): The stripes represent miscegenation, which is mandatory in order to defeat Christ!!!
    AlecKyras (8:54:47 PM): It’s pretty amazing Bobby turned out so badly. I mean, he had such cordial parents; they shake his hand firmly when he comes in the house anything.
    AlecKyras (8:55:27 PM): None of that faggy hug business. Clearly, that he turned away from Christ in spite of an ideal upbringing is because of Satan.
    AlecKyras (8:57:29 PM): His parents are willing to put him directly to bed for no real good reason and know exactly who made him so evil: his damn liberal teachers.
    AlecKyras (8:57:53 PM): And it’s a good thing nobody in this world believes in that ‘child abuse’ nonsense. It’s just a scheme to put Christian parents away.
    etjabberwock (8:58:22 PM): Hehehe.

    AlecKyras (9:01:03 PM): Yeah, Chick knows how to call bullshit on nonsense. Believing that dropping something into water and diluting it with enough water to cover a small ocean makes it more potent is as ridiculous as believing, I don’t know, that the world was created ex nihilo in six days.
    AlecKyras (9:01:27 PM): Those wacky new-agers.
    AlecKyras (9:03:30 PM): And just so you know, the Queen of Heaven is obviously the Virgin Mary, who the Catholics sacrifice infants – who they evilly immerse in ritually purified water before they’re mature enough to revere the ritual behind the purification of the water – to in great rituals to deny the Christ’s significance.
    etjabberwock (9:03:36 PM): Hahaha. Right. See, exactly. He has great and cutting commentary on faith.
    AlecKyras (9:03:56 PM): I’m not entirely sure why they worship this Mary woman. Probably something to do with Islamojudaeocommunofascism.

    AlecKyras (9:06:17 PM): I like how Grandpa asks a question he knows the answer to for no good reason just to get the kid riled up.
    etjabberwock (9:06:43 PM): Hehe, yeah. And just to get himself killed.
    etjabberwock (9:06:49 PM): Martyr complex? Wow, how surprising!
    AlecKyras (9:07:03 PM): Because science has proven the best way to spread the Gospel is with stand-offish jackassry. That ‘salt and light’ crap is clearly a product of the Devil.
    etjabberwock (9:07:43 PM): Hee!

    AlecKyras (9:08:20 PM): Then again, considering what he thinks God’s ‘love’ entails, it’s probably better for us he doesn’t seem to feel any for his children. He’d probably whip out a bone saw and reenact the scene from Hannibal with the FBI agent and the skull-opening.
    AlecKyras (9:10:51 PM): I like how he refers to Paul, presumably, y’know, his son, as ‘Connie’s brother Paul’.
    etjabberwock (9:11:30 PM): Hehehehe, yeah. “I HAVE NO SON”
    AlecKyras (9:11:53 PM): I like how one of the Healers is clearly Asian. I think Jack Chick probably hyperventilated for a while when he heard that Bush was appointing a Japanese Democrat Secretary of Transport.
    AlecKyras (9:12:07 PM): OH SHIT TRANSPORT 666 JAPAN IS TO THE EAST OF ISRAEL AMERICA TO THE WEST IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

    AlecKyras (9:15:48 PM): *random helicopter passing by*
    “JESUS CHRIST CHARLES IT’S A BLACK HELICOPTER”
    “JUST LIKE IN THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS!!!”
    “THEY FOUND US CHARLES”
    “HELP US LORD JESUS!”
    *poof* “TO REWARD YOUR FEALTY TO ME, LORD JESUS, I’LL SPONTANEOUSLY START THE RAPTURE FOR NO GOOD REASON!”
    “WOO HOO!”
    “YOU MIGHT WANT TO CLOSE YOUR EYES, THERE WAS ANOTHER GUY WHO CALLED FOR HELP BUT HE WAS BLACK SO HE SAID ‘LOR’ JESUS’ AND I LET HIM GET EATEN BY A BEAR A BIT”
    “FUCKING NIGGERS”
    “YOU’RE TELLING ME”

    1. I like how he refers to Paul, presumably, y’know, his son, as ‘Connie’s brother Paul’.

      What kills me the most about that line is that he is telling Connie’s husband, Charles like he wouldn’t know who her brother is? Is there another unknown brother lurking around? Is this the first time they’ve met? Awkward time to be introduce your son-in-law to your son, there. “Hi there Charles isn’t it? This is my son, Paul, Paul this is Charles, speaking of which did you know we were in tthe Last Days, your son has been corrupted by his school and you need to take your wife and run to her brother whom you just met’s cabin?”

  12. Pff. Complete bullshit, all of it. Seriously the most ridiculous tract yet. None of it makes any remote amount of sense at all.

    PS: Answer the door while covered in blood, with a two-foot metal spike in one hand and a three-bladed scythe in the other. Not really, but it would get some amusing reactions.

  13. Good friends, I have been visiting a certain imageboard for some time, an imageboard devoted to what was once called “suitcase hentai” and is now so much more disturbing than that. I have seen, in the words of Joel Robinson, “women…torn apart like fresh bread.” I have been mildly amused by this.

    But that face on Bobby is THE most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, it beats Pyramid Head and his monster-raping chocolatey goodness, it beats “The Changeling,” it’s even scarier than Cheney. Sir Jabberwock, you have introduced a new subject for my nightmares. Ordinarily, I thank people who do this, but since it’s a fucking Chick character, I may just have to medicate myself into a coma to escape that hideous face.

  14. The ‘Death Cookie’ one is made more amusing by the fact that a death cookie is a lump of ice on which one can catch the edge of a ski or snowboard at high speed, causing a spectacular crash. Maybe Jack was trying to get down with the kids..

  15. I thought the guy in the first panel looked like Sean Connery and then in the courts they’re wearing plaid…coincidence? Is 007 evil, too? Also, the mailman must be a giant to have to read the house numbers on the roofs. Strange illustrations again. Surprised? Not by Chick’s “amazing” talent.

  16. Hey, wait, I just realized something.. Chick totally left out the gays in his godless despotic society! Shouldn’t there be mandatory homosexuality to go along with what are apparently socially encouraged divorces, evil teachers offering Martha Stewart-esque tips on Halloween sacrifices (“Okay, we’re going to arrange the entrails of the cat just so, and add a sprig of parsley – that really captures the Queen of Heaven’s attention, it’s a good thing..”) and so on?

    Also, where’s Fang?!

  17. I don’t know if Fang’s ever been in anything that Fred Carter has drawn. As far as I’ve seen, only Chick himself draws Fang.

  18. I like that Paul’s basically got the right idea. Since Jesus died for our sins and whatnot, why not just turn in his family, be safe, get the reward, and then repent? With salvation being given by Magic Words, there’s no real need to back shit up with actions!

  19. Jabberwocky, you now as well as I do that the Christian fundamentalists know what’s best for us, based on a few obscure, though ‘divinely inspired’, phrases.
    Wait I’m confused:What’s preventing the creation of more people? Did the Combine, under Satan’s influence (non-human sentient species/adamant atheists/anyone-that-isn’t-extremely-gullible can only be angels or demons…) install the preventer-device-thingy? Or is this just (as I suspect) an arbitrary last generation?
    Also the ‘new killer diseases, earthquakes etc’ bullshit is kinda stupid.
    I hope Chick didn’t get a smallpox vaccination, as, if we remember our history lessons, an omnipotent being that controls the Earth doesn’t really like people interfering with his plans. And if he knew his geology (which, according to his ‘misguided’ beliefs in certain Creationist bullshit, is already pretty shaky) he’d know that earthquakes happen pretty much all the time. And aren’t there around 3 wars, or conflicts, still occuring?
    Wait, scratch that:All significant scientific process is the Debbil. Case closed.
    I know that, defying all logic, they’ve jumped from a barely-heard-and-often-ignored organisation to a global government but why is everyone just going along with the U.N’s ‘Jesus Ultimatum’? If whoever/whichever evil genius dominated the world and arbitrarily declared a religion ‘banned’, without providing any reasoning behind the decision, I’d find it quite suspicious in the least.
    So a secular future is gonna result in a hippy, paganism-enforcing government? Time to bomb a few abortion clinics and learn them Satanists good!

  20. I particularly like the bit on animal sacrifice – to really drive home how shocking it is, Fred has Bobby produce two photos of unfathomably cute animals, which he just happened to have with him. And I can’t help but notice that the kitty has a ball of wool and the puppy has a collar, implying that people still keep pets in this animal hatin’ world.

  21. So, I reread the last couple of panels and now I’m confused by some continuity issues (since, uh, worrying about the rest of the tract would be dumb). If the Rapture has hit, why does little Bobby get a chance to grow up, huh? How long does it take to hold a fucking rapture? Even if it’s 7 years, Bobby looks to be about 9 now, which would only make him 15, which is ‘grown up’ only in really shitty countries, certain southern states and the insistences of high schoolers. WTF?

  22. Clearly, God bent the rules a little and allowed Bobby to grow up, presumably under the assumption that an adult Bobby would be a great deal worse than young-and-monstrous Bobby. Then when he died, he would go to Hell, which would be God’s punishment inflicted on Satan.

  23. Now THAT is harsh. I know the guy waged war in heaven and all…but he doesn’t deserve being on the same plane of exsistence as Bobby for the rest of eternity.

    Reincarnation’s a lie? Dunno, Bobby looks a lot like the proof a certain german dictator has reincarnated.

  24. I do like how hard Mr Chick tried to make the fascist religion the complete opposite of Christianity and failed.

    Christians have had the ‘mine is the only religion mindset; Christians have called -unmarried- couples much worse than slime; they’ve hunted heretics; the Old Testament mentions animal sacrifices all the time; and preaching in school’s been done.

    Also, I love how it’s not Bobby’s parents fault he’s a nightmare brat. No, it’s all society’s fault that his parents failed to raise a decent kid.

  25. Where are the “gays” mentioned in this tract? Surely Chick loves to blame the homosexual population and include them in all evil groups. I was surprised Chick didn’t add in “Bobby grew up and became a flaming homosexual. He attended many musicals, joined PETA, and died of AIDS.” This is one of the funniest tracts yet.

  26. Hello, uh longtime reader, first time poster.

    A few comments on this tract from what I’ve seen.

    1) There has always been something strange about Chick’s ghost artist Fred Carter (who for awhile was his unnamed black artist if I’m not mistake. Fact they had to put his race was sort of odd, but this is Chick here) Anyway in a few of the early panals that show the outside of the houses, aside from the numbers on top of them, is that they just do not look like they were drawn. This might sound odd but if you ask me they look a little photoshoped, it’s like Fred took a few stills from Mr. Roger’s neighborhood, plastard on some numbers on ’em Nazi style. It’s like Mr. Roger’s meets Warsaw.

    and

    2) As Jabberwock noted that it seems these Christians take the whole persecution thing a little to wasy (especially in Big Daddy in my opinon.) Like little Brownshirt Bobby asking if Grand Pa is believes in Jesus, hell the old guy questions whether or not that little pissant is going to go narc on him, and begins to tell him anyway. I think even in the dissection its wondered why they just don’t beat the shit out of the kid? Really Jabberwock takes the non-violent approach of just locking him in and feeding him under the door. So I guess another message is if your going narc on your parents religious beleifs, they better be Christians, you pull that with another group (Athiests/Homosexuals/PETA/Jacks enemies etc.) it’s just asking for a beatdown.

    Bobby: “Your mentally sick I hope the healers kill you”
    Grand Pa *locking the door*:”Bobby, do you know what happens to little shits who narc on us?”
    Bobby: “You wouldn’t! I’ll send you away to a camp like Billy’s mom for child abuse!”
    Grand Pa: “Oh you gotta get to a phone first for that to happen”

    *ends with a brownshirt beat down*

    -Glad to post, and enjoy the dissections.

  27. Why not do the ‘Ivan the Terrible’ comic next? Y’know, the one where Marxism, Communism, the Russian Revolution are all part of a secret war between the Catholic and Orthodox churches?

  28. I successfully got rid of the JWs. I was in the backyard (we have no gate) smoking hookah with some friends they started to come in the back yard I took a drag and exhaled a huge cloud of smoke. They pivoted, walked out of my backyard without a word and haven’t been back since.

  29. I heard of one time, this guy answered the door holding a chicken heart and took a bite out of it like an apple.

  30. I suppose eveyone who thinks they’re really clever, and has an opinion on something, and has read 1984, thinks that George Orwell agrees with them. Even Jack Chick.

  31. What can I say about this one? Actually this is the second version, adjusted for the changing times. The first one is worth looking for. It had Bobby showing that dogs and cats were extinct, water being $5 bucks a glass (hey, the bottled water movement!), that right after the Rapture the Evil Russkies finally start World War III, and, most important THERE IS A BRA IN THE CLOTHES-ON-THE-FLOOR SCENE!!!
    Either way, pretty frinkin’ lame. I can’t improve on the comments.

  32. Yes, look at England today! With her high standard of living, her fairly up-to-date health care system, her still-vast treasury. Her large collection of items pillaged from her various colonies, her position as the European nation with the fastest growing GDP, her hold Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland, her title as head of the Second-largest economic alliance in the world (the Commonwealth of nations, the first being WTO membership), and it’s hilarious comedy, I can sure see how Britain is really in the shitter jack.

  33. Oh holy crap. This is the most batshit insane thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, all Chick Tracts are batshit insane, but this is like a whole new level of complete incomprehensibly insane beliefs.

    I don’t even know where to start. I mean, firstly, would a secular law enforce new-age beliefs? Why the puppy-killing? Why… any of it? I’m confused.

  34. “Every line of serious work that I have written since 1936 has been written, directly or indirectly, against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism, as I understand it.” -George Orwell, 1946

    So…no. Chick fails. We knew that, but I just felt I should bring yet another piece of proof to the table, even though we also know that proof means nothing to the fundamentally stupid.

  35. I mean it, you guys! I know we’ve been saying this for hundreds of years, but it’s really just right around the corner.”

    good point here, jabberwok. interestingly enough, according to one history channel show i saw a while ago, medieval people believed the world was going to end in the year 1000. panic ensued. also, people beleived that the black death was caused by one of the horses of the apocalypse (this medieval event also created a preview of the holocaust where many jews died because since of their superior hygiene habits they did not catch the bubonic plague, christians denounced them as witches). and it goes on and on and on. among others, jehovah’s witnesses (a group which, ironically, jack chick disagrees with) have given so many exact dates for the apocalypse it’s just not funny anymore.

    also i want to comment on the horrible parenting skills displayed in this tract. bobby may be a monster and all, but where’s the discipline? what happened to that crap about christian families being so disciplined. and what about them sending bobby to a school that teaches him stuuf contrary to their own beliefs. that’s entirely bullshit, especially considering the republicans’ past attempts to decrease public school funding, pushing school vouchers that cater favorably to private religious schools, trying to retain collective prayers in campuses, trying to teach creationism and remove safe sex ed, among other things. but the thing that caught me the most is the fact that bobby’s family show the biggest display of selfishness i have ever seen. i mean, they give up on the kid, and think only in their own salvation. why not pray to jesus so he can save bobby or strap him to a chair and slap him with a 15 pound kjv bible, cause after all, kids are more naive to this kind of stuff.

    the last thing i want to comment on this is the animal sacrifices part. i guess chick wants to portray animal sacrifice as something anti-god, but he forgets that in the bible, god prefers abel’s sacrifice of a lamb over cain’s offering of vegetables. and lets not forget that god even tried to make a man sacrifice his son just to see if he was faithful to him. my verdict: BULLSHIT!

  36. im tempted to give another comment. i dont think christians love animals. actually, christians have been known a good host of animals, including goats, black cats, snakes, pigs, etc. curiously, they like sheep and refer to congregations as flocks. maybe it is cause sheep follow others blindly.

  37. Y’know, it would be kinda funny to see Chick’s take on Animal Farm. I mean, with the utter lack of any happy ending, I’m quite eager to see how he’d get the rapture into it. (Boxer gets raptured on the way to the knacker’s, perhaps?)

  38. “Every line of serious work that I have written since 1936 has been written, directly or indirectly, against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism, as I understand it.” -George Orwell, 1946

    Haha! But Orwell wrote 1984 in 1948, and later amended his quote to say “Fuck democratic socialism. Until 1946 I was all for democratic socialism. Now I’ve decided I love puppies. And Jesus. And nobody can love one but not the other. And Fuck pointy hats too. O’Brien wears a pointy hat in 1984, but I didn’t mention it because it’s too fucking obvious.”

    I think Supreme Justice Mahoney actually looks like Nixon with glasses and a beard photoshopped on, but it’s difficult to tell. Also, wouldn’t Jesuit (S.J.) Justice Mahoney have to persecute himself? I mean since the Catholic Church’s stance is pretty much “Only people who believe in Catholic Jesus go to Heaven.”

    1. Pretty much everyone thinks Bobby looks like Hitler Jr I would think. When Bobby grew up at the end of the tract he probably sported a moustache that made him the spitting image of his Snr.

  39. NO! THIS IS NOT WHAT ORWELL IMAGINED. HE IMAGINED A WORLD DIVIDED INTO THREE SEPARATE STATES IN CONSTANT WAR, AND THE MAIN STATE IS OPPRESSIVE AND RULED BY AN OMNIPOTENT BEING WHO NO ONE EVER SEES, KINDA LIKE CHICK’S FACELESS GOD, AND THEY CONTROL THE PEOPLE THROUGH FEAR AND ANGER. HE DID NOT IMAGINE A WORLD WITH SQUARE BUILDINGS WITH NUMBERS PAINTED ON THE ROOF, BANNING OF BELIEVING THAT JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN, AND HAVING GAY LOOKING LIZARD POWER RANGER THINGS. ALSO, WITH THE WORLD STATE, HE IS PROBABLY THINKING OF BRAVE NEW WORLD, BUT THAT HAD NO RELIGIOUS OPPRESSION. WHY DOES CHICK CONTINUE TO BE AN ASSHOLE??!!?!

    BTW,THE WORLD COURT IN ROME, HAHAHAHA, MORE INSULTS AGAINST CATHOLICISM AND THE POPE. ALSO, THE WORLD COURT IS IN DEN HAAG, HOLLAND, YOU DUMBASS.

  40. Hey, gang-bangers, here’s some %#%& you might have missed:
    >In the panel where the “World Court” declares mentioning Jesus is now a death penalty offense, the chief justice’s name is “Mahoney, s.j.” In case you don’t know, s.j. means “Society of JESUS.” The original tract had Chief Justice Jablonski, Jack’s hidden anti-semitism peeping out. Also the great “Rev. Lance Collins” a.k.a., John Todd
    (star of “The Broken Cross” and “Dark Dungeons”) was blaming it all on “The Illuminati.” Pope Jack Thomas the First acts more like a REAL Pope than any Roman Pontiff in the past century!
    > In the panel when grandpa first says “—the LAST GENERATION,” notice dad has his head tilted and his mouth open: That’s because in the original, dad asks: “When did all this start,” grandpa blames “Jesus Christ, Superstar” which makes Jesus look like a loser and “Godspell” that made him into a clown.
    In the original, Bobby the Demon Possessed Nazi Childe holds up the cat and dog and says “The teacher gave us pictures of two extinct species.” Not a word about Mother Goddesses or heretics.
    >By the way, when did us Pagans start using the term “heretics.” Pope JTI has been railing against heresy almost from the get-go. Can you say “projection?”
    >Finally, in the original, the pointy-headed “healer” villain holds up two fingers and says “Peace!” Not a word about Mother Goddesses or heretics.
    As with his nemesis the Catholic Church, St. Jack is both his own best friend and his own worst enemies.

  41. Terrible Tommy Murray: I remember the original tract, and recall that Grandpa predicts that the end of the world (or maybe the rapture) would occur in 1988. Since that did not happen, maybe this is why there is an alternate version. I also remember Grandpa’s claim that Jesus Christ Superstar was primarily responsible for turning people away from Christ because Jesus was depicted as “a fornicator and a fool.” I remember the quote so well because that was when I realized that the people who create this stuff are totally insane.

  42. Lol he needs to love animals? But the Bible says we have dominion over them and says we need to sacrifice them to God (Gen 8:20-21, Ex 20:24, Lev 23:12-18, Deut 12:27.) Sure I’ve had plenty of Christians tell me these passages magically don’t count any more, because of teh jeebus, but I wonder how many of them know their own holy book advocates ritual animal sacrifice.

  43. So, proving it is “the last generation” by earthquakes, famines,etc..um, like they ahve not happened before??? Avoid time-setting!! Can’t wiat for the Pope-bashing, as I am 1/3 way through

  44. Cannot find the “sinners prayer” in Bible. Also, how is it the “saved” get to enter Heaven, a place where nothing unclean enters? they never commit sin again after “saved” or it simply does not matter? So much for “to much is given”

  45. Hey, I just noticed this. Connie and Charles both called the old guy Dad. I guess in aggressive futures like this incest is okay, but even these fundamentalists don’t mind. If it was incest, that would explain why Bobby is so fucked up

  46. Funny stuff. Though I personally don’t think that looks like Bao Xishun’s penis.

    Non-Christians murder puppies and kitties! Pass it on! (Where have we heard that before?)

  47. Again, fascination with the implications. Especially with the choice of mutant caduceus with a CND on top.

    One: what’s Jack’s problem with legitimate medicinal services?

    Two: what’s Jack’s problem with nuclear disarmament?

    Three: why the hell does Jesus have long hair?

  48. Honestly, if I may divert the conversation to a slightly serious tone, this tract and the anti-Masonic ‘The Curse Of Baphomet’ scared the God-fearing shit out of me when I was a kid. My church went to a Christian music festival called Ichthus in Kentucky. Anyway, somehow these came our way. I was only eleven, in fifth grade, and at that age where I still believed everything I read.

    That last panel, with the rather Aryan-looking Christ, was a visual that kept me up at night. Those eyes, they honestly terrified me.

    Enough of my pseudo sob-story. I still believe in God, though not at all in the absolutism of Fundamentalist religions (Judaism, Islam, Christianity, etc.). It was great, a relief, to see someone taking the object of my fears – I read it and believed one day the future would be some fucked-up dystopia of witches and “sicko” hunts – and reducing it to the lunatic fringe, nightmare-inducing piece of shit it is.

    Thank you.

    Alex

  49. I hope folks realize not every Christian thinks like Jack Chick and associates.

    I’m one that believes in Preterism. (In a nut shell, Revelation is about events leading up to 70AD, and not 2,000 years plus later.) This would mean the book actually had relevance for the time it was written! Do fundies ever think about that? If Revelation is about stuff today, what good was it to the folks 2,000 years ago? 666= Nero.

    I also don’t beleive that “satan” is a supernatural being that fell from heaven. (Satan is derivd from Shaw-tan, a word that means “adversary”..it is not a proper noun.)

    I aslo do not believe God tortures people forever for making a wrong choice. Plenty of Bible evidence for this, but I think most of it can go under “common sense.”

    I also don’t believe in evolution, so I get to tick off both Fundamentalsit and Secular people. And while there are some secular folks that act like the professor in “Big Daddy” it’s rare. In fact I’ve only been yelled at by one evolution believer for not sharing his view point. I’ve been called far worse, by Fundamentalist for not holding to their views, and with much more frequencey.

    Oh..and I love the dissections. (Most of them anyhow) It’d be great if you ahd time to dissect one of his full length comics. I used to have one of those set in the “near future.” Of course, based on how everyone was dressed in that comic, I’d guess it was written no later then 1975. I wonder if by “near future” they meant “at least 35 years” back then.

  50. Hmm, Jack’s vision of a religionless society seems to be inspired by 1950s anti-communist propaganda. “WATCH OUT, JOE SMITH! THE COMMUNIST, FAGGOT, AND NEGRO FORCES WANT TO KILL YOUR SON, RAPE YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTER, AND TEABAG YOUR MOTHER! BUY CIGARETTES TODAY TO FIGHT COMMUNISM!

  51. I know my post is short, and lacking in any real input, but the minute I saw the ‘new age healer’ I thought “is’Allah, I never know the Phantom was into Wicca” By the way, Volto from Mars, the old-timey Grapenuts superhero shill wants his hat back Phantom. He’s late taking it back to the haberdasher/dildo dispensary and you have no clue who bad the fines there are.

  52. “Shall be committed to a mental camp for treatment and or be executed.” Why the “and or?” Shouldn’t those things be mutually exclusive? I don’t expect them to make much progress trying to treat a corpse for psychological disorders.

  53. Orwell was mainly against robber-baron capitalism, and of course communism, which in 1984 hits that Kim Jong Il sweet spot where the distinction with fascism is just about invisible. He sure as heck wouldn’t like any of Chick’s social policies, but it wasn’t anything he wrote about, either. You’re co-opting him a bit yourself, I think.

  54. If “to die is gain,” then why not just die? Why be so worried about being persecuted, rounded up, and put to death for your belief in Jesus, if that belief is going to guarantee you a huge, obnoxiously ornate mansion in heaven? Isn’t that where Christians WANT to go? I used to be a Christian, and I guess I never really thought about it that much. Looking back on it now, though, this part of the belief system makes no fucking sense to me. I believed I would go to heaven if I died, yet I was scared of actually dying. Most other Christians I knew felt the same way. Why didn’t anyone ever explain this in all those Sunday sermons?

    When I take over the world, Bobby is going to be my head minion–after I beat the shit out of him a few times. The little turd needs to be put in his place, or he’ll just get ridiculous delusions of grandeur, like he’ll try to take over my fortress-inside-a-mountain every time I go out shopping.

  55. I wonder what the original 1972 “Last Generation” looked like? A dystopian world where the government is ruled by communists, Bobby is in a communist uniform, the religion in his school teaches kids to be hippies, and the free drug reward is LSD to send us psychedelic? Well, that generation was definitely not the last generation and this generation won’t be either. Next generation the Jack Chick mill will probably bring out yet another update of this tract to fit that generation.

    Even by Chick standards, this tract is definitely way over the top. Bobby dressed in a Nazi-style uniform really does it for me. And I suppose the Vatican is behind it all, just as the Vatican is behind just about everything else in Chick’s tracts.

  56. Okay, so it is World Headquarters in Rome in charge of this – meaning the Vatican – who’s going to bring us this dystopian future. So why are they teaching kids this hybrid Pagan/Satanism religion in schools? If it’s supposed to be the Vatican, why aren’t they teaching the kids Catholicism?

    By the way, Jack Chick tells us the Vatican also brought us Nazism and the Holocaust was a papal inquisition. That might explain Bobby’s fascist-looking uniform.

  57. I love these tract dissections. They really tear into the horror that is a Chick tract. Just to report Jackie boy updated “The Last Generation” so little Bobby says that his friends now call him slime (still a great insult there) because now “his parents are straight and still married,” so mandatory divorce and homosexual laws for the price of one.

    Am I a bad person for laughing hysterically at the description in the first line?

    “N*gger me this, Batman!”
    Well I guess I’m not as bad as Jack, I can take credit for that. 😀

    1. It’s great to see that this version (at least) will still be around on this site to mock and double over in hysterics with. Ol’ Jack’s update also removed Bobby’s “Old Crud” insult to his Grampa and replaced it with “Intolerant Jerk!”, making far less sense and not being any fun at all.

      And the end panel caption now states that little Bobby DID die in his sins without “growing up”. I guess the Old Nutter got embarrassed by the obvious lapses in logic that were pointed out to him, so he just had to correct them. Killjoy.

  58. OMG! Just discovered this site today. What a HOOT! I especially loved:

    Bobby: “Your mentally sick I hope the healers kill you”
    Grand Pa *locking the door*:”Bobby, do you know what happens to little shits who narc on us?”
    Bobby: “You wouldn’t! I’ll send you away to a camp like Billy’s mom for child abuse!”
    Grand Pa: “Oh you gotta get to a phone first for that to happen”

    *ends with a brownshirt beat down*

    In truth, I think this is a more-likely scenario. Chick is so far removed from reality it’s ridiculous.

  59. You know, the Gregory Peck look-alike got me thinking a few days ago. I wonder if Jack (or Fred Carter in this case.) tries to imitate movies and celebrities in his drawings because his own plot, characters, and artwork are so shitty. It would explain a lot.

    Also, this is perhaps the third of fourth worst tract (it certainly can’t compete with Lisa, Fairy Tales, or Big Daddy.)

    I never get why Christians are so fixtated on material wealth when they die. They’re a lot more materialistic than Atheists and pagans, that’s for sure. Personally, I find the idea of Nirvana a lot more satisfying than being surrounded with material crap for all eternity. If I converted on my deathbed, would I suddenly *start* liking the idea of heaven? Would God let me have Nirvana? Seems complicated to me.

  60. This version is different to the one I read back in the early ’70s. When dear little Bobby shows the pictures of a cat and a dog to his family, he says “School was interesting today. They showed us pictures of these two extinct species!” Someone gasps “That’s a cat and a dog!” Bobby asks his dad “Did you have one of these when you were little?” Dad looks at the picture and says “Yes, but my dog was eaten when the Great Hunger came. It was so sad; I loved that little dog.” Bobby chortles “How could you love a stupid animal?” Some of the other conversations also had minor differences from the Old Millennium (<sp?), but even then I began to wonder "Communists and NAZI sympathizers handed out comic books with propaganda to their friends and children, but this is different…isn't it?" For the record (mea culpa;) Jack T. Chick once published his tracts in the city where I was born. I once was part-swayed by what Chick and company preached; I also once believed in Santa Claus. Unlike a character in one of Chick's tracts, I didn't turn into a murderer over a story my parents told me.

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