Fun Things From the Internet

I was going to write more content during the week, but we were visiting friends and family in L.A. and I’ve been busy with work. So in the meantime, here’s a really easy post that requires little effort on my part some fun stuff from the internet.

Incarcerex, an amusing video about the fascism of the “anti-drug” movement, and how politicians often use it to make it seem like they’re being “tough on crime”. Side-effects may include frustration, feelings of helplessness, severe depression, impotent rage, an oppressive sensation between the ears, diarrhea, an unrealized desire for change, disillusionment, lack of comprehension of why fascism is so appealing to so many people, and hysterical syphilis. Recommended dosage: One viewing. If dosage does not achieve desired result, repeat dosage as needed. People who are taking an MAOI inhibitor should not golf while viewing this video. If you have liver problems, please contact your doctor before pushing sharpened gopher femurs into your abdomen. If you experience heat stroke, a bear attack, or the Holocaust, please discontinue use immediately and consult your physician.

Meanwhile, faithful reader Nathan has drawn and written a book of single-panel comics starring a large, fuzzy monster exhibiting different emotions. You can see a sample here, at The Lovable Atomic Mongrel.

In what seems like the setup for yet another “might be a redneck” joke, a Florida man wakes up with a horrible headache, later discovering at the hospital that he’d been shot in the head by his wife. “Accidentally.” Okay, for starters, how do you accidentally shoot someone in the head while they’re sleeping? “G’night, gun. Oh, hold on, you got a little spot on you. Here, lemme wipe you off on my pillow. *blam* OH FUCK DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING” But even more than that, how do you not notice you’ve been shot in the fucking skull?

Finally, Cracked Magazine’s “The Five Biggest Pricks in Congress” is pretty amusing.

Anyway, I’ll have some content of actual substance over the next few days. Likely a new issue of The Interceptors at some point in the near future.

Apology for Lack of Chick Dissections

Hey, everyone. There wasn’t a Chick Dissection last weekend, and there probably won’t be one until tomorrow. I’ve been a bit busy with work and travel (we’re in L.A. for the week visiting Janet’s family and some of our friends) and haven’t had the chance to write one up, and a couple contributing dissectors have drafts for them but have also been too busy to finish them. There will be one tomorrow, though, probably later in the day.

Sorry for the delay — I know how much you all enjoy them.

(With regard to The Interceptors, for anyone interested in that, I’m thinking of putting those out on a bi-monthly basis. I’ll probably have another one up in about a week.)

Rational Delusion

This is a relatively interesting post, but I disagree with some of the general premises, specifically what constitutes a “realistic” perspective, and what seems to be a general confusion between subjectivity and objectivity.

The implication, especially when discussing self image, seems to be that other people’s judgments about one’s physical attractiveness or “normality” are somehow objective assessments. If I say someone is attractive and someone else says they’re not, which assessment is “realistic”? Who should the person being analyzed agree with in order to have a rational or “realistic” self image?

Also, if a regular hand wash doesn’t eliminate all the germs from one’s hands, isn’t washing repeated times more “realistic” if one’s intentions are to fully eliminate germs? Or is it more realistic just to understand that you’ll never eliminate all germs? Or perhaps an altogether better approach would be to expose yourself to everyday germs so you can develop resistances to them.

Anyway, interesting post, but I don’t think it necessarily addresses the issues in the best way. Possibly more on these ideas later.

Movie Review | I Now Pronounce You Oversimplified and Stupid

This isn’t technically a review, as the film in question has yet to be released, but even having only seen the preview, I feel comfortable condemning the upcoming homophobic, obligatory-until-his- increasingly-unfunny-career- finally,-finally-dies Adam Sandler summer “comedy” I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry without even needing to see it.

The rough synopsis I was able to gather from the preview runs as follows: There are two straight roommates, Chuck and Larry, who want the benefits of domestic partnership without actually having to be gay. Their domestic partnership is challenged by the government, as there are doubts about the authenticity of their claims about their homosexuality. Adam Sandler’s character (it doesn’t matter which one he plays as they’re both the stereotyped White Male Character always playing the lead in these shitheaded films) lusts after the woman investigating their partnership, but he’s tormented by the fact that he can’t actually pursue her. HILARITY ENSUES.

This whole thing is awful on so many levels. Right out of the gate with the general premise, they play into the conservative anti-gay-marriage argument about how “but… but… but… ANY two guys could get the benefits of a domestic partnership regardless of whether they were truly gay”, reinforcing the outright fucking retarded fears of conservatives and people who are “on the fence” about gay marriage. I can only imagine how many morons there are out there who’ll watch this, think “OH MY GOD, IT’S REALLY POSSIBLE” and then vote against gay marriage initiatives because of this potential “problem”. Of course, nobody seems to give half a shit about the number of straight people who get married and aren’t actually in love. Two roommates in possession of different sets of genitals could just as easily get married for the benefits without wanting anything to do with each other beyond that.

Then there’s the idea of the state investigating someone’s partnership because of the validity of their homosexuality, which is completely ridiculous. Apparently the sentiment of the filmmakers seems to be that this should be part of any domestic partnership law, that the state should be able to challenge you whenever it feels you’re not being gay enough. Which is a sentiment that, if it doesn’t already exist in the public, I’m sure this movie will help to propagate. How many marriages are subject to the same level of scrutiny? How many people are investigated for not being straight enough? Can your marriage be revoked by the government if you’re not fucking your wife or husband often enough, or if you have sex with other people, or if you have sex with — *gasp* — someone who has genitals that match your very own!?

Homosexuality itself is twisted into a grotesquerie, seemingly written with a total obliviousness to human sexuality in general. According to the film, men who are sexually and emotionally attracted to other men can ONLY be attracted to other men. Any attraction to women at all somehow indicates one isn’t really gay but just pretending. Apparently, the writers of this movie have never heard of, erm, bisexuals. Also illustrative of a complete lack of understanding of human sexuality is the notion that polyamory isn’t compatible with marriage-like relationships, and that either partner having sex with anyone else would render the partnership invalid. There are plenty of heterosexual marriages where, if one partner wanted to have sex with someone else, the other partner would be okay with it. So why couldn’t the same attitudes be present in a homosexual marriage or domestic partnership? Apparently, the writers have never heard of open relationships, either.

I have no intention of ever actually seeing this film. I abhor the attitudes present in the writing, which will inevitably scoot their way through the dusty air of darkened theaters into the heads of many idiot viewers. Sure, nobody’s going to force anyone who doesn’t want to see it to watch this film, but that’s sort of a specious argument in this case. The kinds of people who are likely to watch this film are exactly the ones who shouldn’t, as their prejudices and dipshit perspectives will only be reinforced by the nightmarish, Orwellian “The Great Eye of America should be in the bedroom of every homosexual couple” world depicted. They will be influenced to oppose gay marriage and domestic partnership legislation because of fears of sham-marriage scams that already take place every day with straight marriages.

This is a movie that should never see the light of a film projector. It’s yet another arbitrary, lowest-common-denominator, turdlike stream of celluloid shitting out of the leviathan anus of modern production companies, bloated from the gluttonous symbiotic feeding relationship they’ve developed with sheeplike viewers who’ll feed the monster dollars to eat up nearly anything that it’ll shit back out without any consideration paid to the message endorsed.

Then again, perhaps it’ll all turn out to be a totally ironic and intelligent take on the entire fascist concept. Wait, no… no it won’t.

On the Amnesty

There is probably no more important controversy raging in the country right now than the one over the Senate bill offering amnesty to illegal aliens.* The media, trying to shoehorn the issue into the left-right framework with which they feel most comfortable, are playing opposition to the amnesty as “right-wing” and support for it as “left-wing”; some on the internet even accuse opponents of being racist. In fact, this is a huge distortion of reality and there are plenty of reasons for opposing this thing regardless of where on the political spectrum you define yourself. I’m dead-set against it and I’m certainly not racist or even right-wing (nor left-wing — for details see here and here if interested).

To start with, who is the most prominent politician pushing this amnesty and trying to get it passed by any means necessary? It’s President Bush! If you support the amnesty, you’re aligning yourself with him! That ought to speak volumes right there.

Then there is the fact that large-scale illegal immigration of unskilled labor (which is what is mainly going on here, in practice) primarily harms low-skilled American workers, a group whose interests have traditionally been defended by forces on the left, such as unions. The main beneficiaries of illegal immigration are unethical employers of unskilled labor, who can obtain a cheap labor force with no legal rights instead of having to pay the decent wages which American workers could otherwise demand. In fact, it’s no surprise to see that Bush and so much of the conservative business community is supporting the amnesty bill. The real mystery is why most of the organized left has deserted one of its major traditional constituencies and failed to oppose this thing.

It is often claimed that some sort of amnesty is our only option because the deportation of twelve million illegal aliens would be excessively cruel or logistically impractical, as if our only option were some vast police-state-style roundup. Nonsense. The preferred solution of those of us who are against amnesty is “attrition through enforcement”. Impose strict penalties on employers who hire illegals, and the jobs which are the main lure will dry up; many, likely most, of those twelve million will return to their own countries.

An amnesty would undermine the rule of law by offering lawbreakers the legal right to the object of their lawbreaking — residence in the US. Of course there are times when breaking unjust laws is right and even obligatory, as was the case during the Civil Rights movement; but to argue that the laws broken by illegal aliens when they entered the US are unjust, one must argue that the US (and, presumably, other nations as well) has no legitimate right to regulate entry into the country, which is really an argument against allowing sovereign states to exist at all. That’s a position a few people do indeed take, but it is so radical as to have no place in a serious discussion of illegal immigration, or of any other subject.

The media have consistently conflated the anti-amnesty position with being “anti-immigrant”, which is frankly insulting. Amnesty for illegals would be a huge slap in the face to the millions of would-be legal immigrants who have obeyed American law, followed the proper procedures, and are now waiting for their cases to work their way through the sluggish immigration bureaucracy. It would tell them that they are saps for respecting the law, since they will continue to wait while those who entered illegally will get legal residence almost immediately.

Racism? Black Americans oppose amnesty, and illegal immigration in general, by margins at least as large as white Americans do. A large minority of illegal aliens are not from Latin America; many are from European countries. A large majority of the Hispanic people in the United States are not illegal aliens; they are citizens or legal residents. I believe all illegal aliens should be treated the same, regardless of their race or national origin; I have yet to see an opponent of amnesty say otherwise.

It is nevertheless true that the majority of illegal immigration is from the Third World, and that this will continue to be the case as long as illegal immigration is implicitly tolerated. Is this in any sense a good thing from a progressive social viewpoint? Seen any surveys of opinion on abortion or gay marriage in Mexico lately? The right, incidentally, is well aware of this issue; I have seen quite a number of conservative essays trumpeting the conservative social values of Latin America as an argument in favor of amnesty.

Several generally left-wing bloggers I know are strongly anti-amnesty, even if some of them do not publicly say so on their own sites. Some on the left may be reluctant to “come out of the closet” as opponents simply because of discomfort with some of the people they would be aligning themselves with. They shouldn’t be. Their position naturally belongs on the left at least as much as on the right. And as I noted, it’s amnesty supporters who should be looking at the implications of the fact that their position aligns them with President Bush.

Regardless of the stances of politicians and self-appointed opinion leaders, most of the public seems to have figured this out for itself. 69% favor deportation of illegal aliens, and only 23% support the amnesty bill. What is really going on here is not a conflict between left and right but a conflict between the anti-amnesty consensus of most of the people and the pro-amnesty consensus of most of the political elite.

*Note on terminology: I use the word “amnesty” to mean any government action which gives illegal aliens a legal right to remain in the United States, regardless of what else it does. Because if it does do that, then it doesn’t matter what else it does.

Election Thoughts

If you want to kill a candidate, talk about their ‘electability’. If you want to help them, talk about where they stand on the issues.

“See, Bob, I like Obama, but I’m just not sure conservatives will be willing to vote for a black guy.”

“Well, Joe, I like Hillary, but I’m afraid Republicans hate her too much for her to win.”

“Hrm. Maybe we’d be better off supporting some other candidates.”

Too much of John Kerry’s campaign focused on electability. The right-wing media beat Dean down with the electability stick. And female candidates are continually discussed not in terms of the policies they support or don’t support, but in terms of electability.

So if you like a candidate, talk about their issues. If they’re not electable, they won’t get elected anyway.

New Comic: The Interceptors

So, I’ve come up with a new idea for a webcomic. Or, well, rather, a series of webcomics. You’ll see.

The first new comic is “The Interceptors”, starring Michael Medved, Zombie Nixon, and an anthropomorphic tentacle hentai magazine named Tenty. You can see it by clicking the link below.


Interceptors, Issue 1

Enjoy. And if you don’t, there’ll probably be less than ten issues anyway.

My pants are worth more than the rest of your life and the lives of countless generations of your descendants.

That this man is an appointed representative of American justice speaks alone volumes more than I ever could in a single post discussing my feelings on the matter.

I’ll probably reference this in another related post in the future, but… it speaks for itself. I know I’m a little late to the party on this one — I somehow only just found out about it. But just… goddamn.

You’re Traveling to Another Dimension…

I recently purchased the entire run of the Twilight Zone on DVD, and we started watching it tonight. It’s interesting to see how much people’s fears have changed over the years. I’m not talking about the plots of each show, wherein the antagonistic subject is usually something that plays on common fears of the time. What I’m referring to are the social fears of everyday situations and events that occur incidentally throughout the show, and how much that’s changed over the last fifty years.

For instance, the second episode, “A Pitch For the Angels”, features an old salesman in around his sixties who hangs around with children in his neighborhood, often alone with them. At one point, he even says, and I’m nearly quoting, “I have a fondness for the children, you see.” Nowadays, this would scream “pedophile”. Mothers would be tugging their children away from the old man, whose goofball antics would come across as more creepy than endearing. And if he knew what was best for him, he’d never be caught alone with a child, because the potential accusations could destroy his life.

For the sake of this discussion, we’re going to do what most people neglect to do and separate sexual attraction to teenagers from sexual attraction to children, as they are indeed different things. Sexual assault against, for instance, a fifteen year old isn’t technically “pedophilia”. Another point to make is that there’s no real way to know exactly the statistics of sexual abuse, as cases frequently go unreported. Many of the statistics I was actually able to find seemed to include information that seemed suspicious, and often conflated child abuse with child sexual abuse, so it was hard to really gather any useful information from it. In any event, it’s safe to say that it’s worse than we know, but not as bad as we fear. But I’m not about to talk about the intricacies of sexual abuse statistics — for this discussion, we need only focus on the generalities and likelihoods.

With this disclaimer in mind, let’s consider some things. Out of all men middle aged and older, it’s a safe bet that the number of pedophiles is less than five percent. Of those who enjoy the company of children, probably less than twenty percent. In other words, it’s an extremely minimal threat. Likely, it’s only slightly more a threat than when the aforementioned episode was filmed. Yet the fear now is far greater than it was then, a grotesque response to an extremely exaggerated threat.

In Al Gore’s book “The Assault On Reason”, he discusses televised news media, and provides a reminder of the perspective with which we should view it: Like all television, the purpose isn’t to provide a quality show, but to sell advertising. And nobody wants to hear about the house that didn’t burn down. Or, more pertinent to this discussion, the child that wasn’t molested. It’s what sells the news, and retains viewers. The worse the story, the more people are watching, the more advertising is seen, the more products are sold, the more money the station makes. As a result, Gore concludes, people have developed a distorted view of the world, where dangers are amplified and threats overblown. When people in some middle-of-nowhere town in Kansas feel personally in direct danger of a terrorist attack, there’s something very wrong.

Similarly, when parents believe that any given man in his thirties or older is a potential pedophile, or that every time their child wanders away for a moment, they’ve been kidnapped or are in immediate danger of such, or that Dear God! Billy’s in danger from [insert random threat], there’s a definite distortion in the public’s ability to assess threats. I’m not advocating that parents never be careful about their children, but there’s no reason for people to be nearly as afraid and paranoid as they are, given the reality of the likelihoods of such events occurring. And the likely reason for that severe escalation in fear over the last half a century is the increased sensationalization of televised news, and, as Al Gore points out, the decline of printed news or interest therein.

(An aside: Several years ago, I had a boss who was very conservative, but his definitions and reasons were rather bizarre. He claimed that the newspaper exhibited a “liberal bias” because its reports weren’t violent or graphic enough. I’m still unsure what exactly to make of this, but there seems to be a possible relationship.)

Meanwhile, people are missing the real threats that are actually present in their lives. But the media isn’t entirely to blame — individuals often fail to actually research any subject, instead accepting at face value any news report, or anything their friend’s mother’s gardener’s grandmother heard or read about. Janet’s aunt’s friends are all dying or suffering from cancer earlier in life, quite possibly related to the fact that they live in a reportedly rather polluted valley, yet she’s kind of New Agey and her major fear is microwaved food. Or look at nuclear power: One is exposed to more radiation from a day in the sun than from a year living near a nuclear power facility, yet people are terrified by it, and there are many who protest its use. Overblown newscasts of the few failures (granted, a nuclear power plant meltdown is a major event) can be contrasted against the lack of reports on the many plants that operate flawlessly, and the technological advancements that ensure such meltdowns will never happen again. Nobody wants to hear about the reactor that doesn’t explode. Or airplane travel: Statistically, many, many more people die behind the wheel of an automobile. But airline crashes make national news. Or school shootings: There’s maybe one every several years, yet when they do happen, they’re covered and discussed for weeks afterward. Yet at the same time, nobody wants to vaccinate their goddamned kids against one of the few viruses that can actually be spread via toilet seat.

It’s bizarre, because five million people catch HPV every year — it’s a significant threat to people’s health. But you don’t hear about it every time it’s detected in someone in a screening at the doctor’s office. Instead, you find yourself inundated with reports about and references to the one or two people who kill a dozen people one time, which happens every several years.

With so much more attention given to threats like terrorist attacks and school shootings than the dangers that really exist, and with so many more people changing the way they live and their comfortability with and trust of everyone around them because of disproportionate news coverage, must we really cling to our illusion that terrorism is exclusively a fear-inspiring act that involves violence? Isn’t it just as effective — if not more — to inspire fear through media reporting itself? If so, what’s really the difference between terrorists trying to influence our actions through threatening harm, and newscasters trying to influence our actions through exaggerating threats of harm?