Chick in 3D

It seems fundies are no longer content to keep their dinosaur/human coexistence fantasies printed on dead trees. They have now constructed a museum to depict a literal interpretation of the book of genesis, with some other tidbits thrown in (hey, someone has to read between the lines).

LIKE many modern museums, the newest US tourist attraction includes some awesome exhibits – roaring dinosaurs and a life-sized ship.

But only at the Creation Museum in Kentucky do the dinosaurs sail on the ship – Noah’s Ark, to be precise.

In addition to seafaring dinos, the museum will show how the grand canyon was formed in a couple days and that all people are a result of Cain’s incestuous behavior. I’m sure if Jesus had $27 million, this is what he would spend it on. The scariest part of the whole article is the last two sentences.

11 thoughts on “Chick in 3D”

  1. That’s nuthin’!

    A friend of mine was telling me of a site he found of a science fair in a religious school. One of the winning projects was a kid who said “My uncle tom is not a monkey” and the evidence was a picture of a monkey and a picture of his uncle. “Tom does not look like a monkey!”

    Another entry was showing how females are built for household tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and are incapable of “male” tasks.

    I’ll ask him for a link next time I see him + I’ll post it here.

  2. Is this what you mean, Jon:

    A Monkey’s Uncle?

    If so, it is just a clever hoax. Of course, that doesn’t dilute the problem. There are still obviously people out there who think this sort of reasoning disproves evolution. I’ve heard it myself, in fact. And in a college classroom! (It was in a philosophy of religion class, thankfully, and not biology!) The teacher didn’t pwn her, so I had to do so myself.

  3. [quote]

    Might it be this one?[/quote]

    I think I just threw up a little in my mouth… I beg of humanity that this is not real.

    To the little kid who didn’t observe creation from non-living materials over the course of several weeks… NO SHIT. It takes millions of years, not half a semester.

    I hope all of the winners, honourable mentions, enterants, and judges are all barren.

  4. I’m pretty sure I heard that site was actually a very well-done parody of fundamentalists.

  5. I liked the part where they said it was a tourist attraction.

    “Honey, what should we do this summer? Should we go to Disney World?”
    “No, let’s go look at some fundie’s vision of what Noah’s ark might well have looked like in Nowheresville, Kentucky! They also have a thing on how the entire population of the Earth is the product of incest! What a way to get our spirits up!”

    Yeah, that sounds like fun for the whole family. Disney World has nothing on these people.

  6. Ironically, the church father Origens stated back in about the 200s that to take the Bible literally is a sin–because it assumes that god is such an incompetent writer that he’s incapable of using a metaphor. (To paraphrase.)

    Unfortunately, the sane Christians seem incapable of standing up for themselves and pointing out that the crazies are crazy. Most of them are hideously ill-read in Christian doctrines, history, and theology, which leads them to believe that somehow the existence of dinosaurs on Noah’s ark is remotely relevant to their faith, simply because someone is telling them that they are.

  7. @6: Don’t you know that Disney World is a den of sin and depravity where they treat teh gays like actual human beings? Also, it’s expensive.

  8. so.. which bible passage tells us dinosaurs existed? oh, none. but we found the bones, so it’s blatantly obvious even to us retarded fundies that dinosaurs EXISTED (except to jack chick, i mean) so we’ll just put dinosaurs in. take THAT, satan.

  9. I don’t know which site it is; I never saw it, just heard my friend talking about it.

    The second one (NotAPimecone’s) is definitely right, my friend mentioned nearly all of those projects.

    “Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.”

    “”Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False” – Paul Sanborn (grade 4)”
    This one is especially great because my friends and I have a running joke about pokemon…

    “biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing”

    “”Rocks Can’t Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?” – Anna Reed (grade 6)”
    I’d like to think that if god made rocks he should have shown off his talents as a creator and made them all little statues.

    “”1st Place: “Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria””
    Good thing they used a control group… oh wait, they didn’t!

    “”Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire” – Tom Williamson (grade 12)”
    This kid actually seems smart… oh, wait, creationism… yeeeah

    Anyway, hoax or not, this is freaking funny. Creationists who usually diss science are trying to use it now. Key word is trying here, though, because they obviously have no regard to the actual standards of the method.

  10. I decided to check out that creationist “science” fair. For a few more highlights, let’s take a look at the middle school winners:

    1st Place: “Life Doesn’t Come From Non-Life”
    Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life – carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) – into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.

    Wow, you mean that charcoal next to a vitamin pill(WTF?) in water will not spontaneously create amino acids and complex proteins? This evolution thing must be a big hoax!

    But wait! the second place winner:

    2nd Place: “Women Were Designed For Homemaking”
    Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

    Then little Patricia should be disqualified for being a female doing scientific work (read:man’s work).

    And then, there are the two high school winners who prayed to make bacteria resistent to antibiotics. Here is their actual prayer:

    Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen


    And one final one for the road:

    This is also the first year that Muslim students from the Al-Jannah Islamic school have been invited to participate; two of their students presented a project on human anatomy entitled “Allah (SWT) Created Me” which, while it was found ineligible for a prize due to a number of Biblical inconsistencies, did win a special Interfaith Outreach ribbon.

    Well, you’re going to burn in hell for all eternity, but here’s a ribbon!

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