Dispatches From the Cave: The Personal Blog of Osama Bin Laden

Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 | 11:18 AM

I mailed a threat to the infidel today. Nothing special, but just something to keep them on their toes. Omar took two Polaroid photographs of me. In the first one, I’m pointing to a picture of an explosion. In the second one, I’m pointing right into the camera. I think it makes my point clearly.

I am furious. I cannot believe that the United Arab Emirates is making people in America more afraid than I am. All they are doing is buying some ports. I hijacked four planes and crashed them into three buildings, for the sake of Allah! Maybe I should get into real estate.

My birthday is about a week away. Hard to believe I will be forty nine! I do not care much for birthdays anymore. The novelty wore off decades ago. I suspect my wives and Omar are planning something, but I really hope they are not. Maybe I should have them all beaten. I might want to celebrate or something next year, since I will be half a century old, but I’m not up for a surprise party. It would just depress me. Omar, if you are reading this, I swear to Allah you’d better not be planning a surprise party.

All in all, I have been feeling okay this week. I think my anger at the infidel has been keeping me from getting too depressed. We will see what happens with those pictures I mailed them. Maybe I am finally pulling myself out of this rut.

Current Music: U2 – Where the Streets Have No Name
Current Mood: Suspicious o_0

5 thoughts on “Dispatches From the Cave: The Personal Blog of Osama Bin Laden”

  1. Inauthentic, Crowley. You need to throw in some Mohammed references and also the asides after Allah and Mohammed (“peace be upon him”, etc.).

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