Just… utterly revolting. No wonder Jack Chick hates gay people–he has absolutely no idea what they’re really like. And if he thinks tolerance is being pushed in schools, when kids like that little six- or seven-year-old in Louisiana are sent home from school for saying the word “lesbian” when describing why he has two moms, he’s even more… erm, well, we’ve already established how out of touch with reality he is, and how enormous an idiot, so… right.
Bah. Fucking hate-mongering, appalling bullshit. What would Jesus do? Certainly not this.
I don’t think I talk about myself enough on this site. In general, I try to stick to Op-Ed-style rants and things that are often not really about my personal life. So as a kind of “getting to know me” thing, every so often I’m going to have a post about myself, since I’m sure you’re all just dying for personal information about me.
This one comes in the form of a fill-in poll thingy (passed to me by Jane, who filled hers out here):
If you’re so fucking concerned with preserving marriages, how about not sending men and women to Iraq for such extended periods of time that their relationships with their spouses deteriorate irreparably? It’s a start, at least.
Oh, and I want to see some concrete fucking numbers on how many marriages have been destroyed in Massachusetts on account of gay marriage. No, seriously, how many men and women do you think had merkin husbands and wives of the opposite sex, just brooding in a sexless relationship, waiting with baited breath, divorce-papers in trembling hand, for the courts to commence with it?
And if you think that encouraging people to get married, or to stay in their marriages, is the solution to the impact of the shitty economy on lower-income people, your grasp of reality is even more dangerously tenuous than I thought. Yeah, let’s encourage battered wives to stay with their abusive husbands because being a single parent is unacceptable. Let’s rush couples into unsure relationships before they’re financially and emotionally ready. I can totally see how that’s the best possible way to make sure that marriages are strong and at their full capacity for love. And, oh yeah, the reason a family of four could live comfortably on a single income about forty or fifty years ago and can’t now is because so many people are getting divorced or not getting married, and has nothing to do with the 1000%+ increase in CEO salaries in comparison to their employees. YEAH, THAT SURE MAKES SENSE, CHIEF. I’LL BET DIVORCE IS ALSO WHY THE TECH BUBBLE BURST AS WELL, AND WHY PUPPIES SOMETIMES DIE, AND WHY GRANDMA ISN’T COMING BACK. How DARE people not be married!? They’re DESTROYING THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY!
Know what? Fuck this. Janet and I aren’t going to get married until gay marriage is legal in the state in which we’re living. (And no, we won’t cheat by moving to Massachusetts, if for no other reason than that the only place we’d really want to live is Boston, and that place is a labyrinthine urban tumbleweed of buildings and confusing, mis- or unlabeled streets.) I encourage others to do the same. Planning on a wedding any time soon? In a long-term relationship with someone and are considering getting married? Please, wait until the gays can have it, too. Maybe if enough of us do it, we can demonstrate that lack of gay marriage is detrimental to marriage as a whole.
I was recently reminded of a police chase story from a while back, in which a sixteen-year-old girl had stolen her mother’s car and taken it with her boyfriend to New Jersey, where her grandmother lived. When they got there, they picked up another girl, Jessica Martinez, age 15, a friend that the driver knew from visits to her grandmother’s, and drove around for a while before the police noticed the stolen vehicle (which had been reported) and began pursuit. This freaked out the driver of the vehicle, who increased her speed and eventually crashed into a utility pole, killing Jessica.
Now, I know the driver bears a good amount of responsibility for what happened, but so do the police. Pursuit is fucking ridiculous except for in extreme circumstances, or when the vehicle is already driving dangerously. I’m certain that with most of these chases, the danger doesn’t begin until the police actually commence with the pursuit. It would make a lot more sense to inconspicuously follow the safely-traveling vehicle to wherever it’s going and then TRY TO APPREHEND THE DRIVER WHEN THEY ARE NOT OPERATING A VERY HEAVY, RELATIVELY MASSIVE PIECE OF MACHINERY CAPABLE OF MOVING AT GREAT SPEEDS.
I have no idea who made the decision that chasing and agitating a safely-driving criminal is a good idea, but it’s time we modified our strategy before more children die.
The official Jack Chick introduction for this one reads:
Holly tells her friend about Jesus, then is kidnapped. Will her Jesus help her escape?
“Will her Jesus…”? Does everyone get their own or something?
Anyway, the general premise for this one is actually “DURRRRRR”, like most of the others. The only thing it really illustrates is Jack’s almost complete lack of touch with reality, and how he’s not above being just entirely insane and contrived. Not to spoil it or anything, but this one ends with a Deus ex Machina, just like the others!
“Gee, I WONDER why PEOPLE STOP WATCHING SHOWS that we put on SUNDAY NIGHTS. WHY do we end up REPEATEDLY CANCELING SHOWS like FAMILY GUY, only to end up BRINGING THEM BACK because the fans end up BUYING IMPRESSIVE NUMBERS of DVDs and WRITING TO US TO COMPLAIN?” “I don’t KNOW. Do you THINK it MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO with the fact that we PUT THEM IN AN INCREDIBLY SHITTY TIME SLOT and then RUN WEEKS AFTER WEEKS OF SPECIAL PROGRAMS LIKE STAR WARS: EPISODE II AND SOME FUCKING DUMB NASCAR THING after only TWO WEEKS of AIRING EPISODES OF THE TELEVISION SHOW PEOPLE WANT TO ACTUALLY BE WATCHING INSTEAD, and then PANIC ABOUT THE RATINGS DROPPING?” “NAAH, CAN’T BE.”
Seth McFarlane needs to come to the realization that he’s being fucked by FOX right out of the bloody gate, and just start releasing new episodes directly to DVD. Or figure out a way to leak them all to the Internet like what happened with the first new episode, so that fans don’t lose interest on account of FOX’s shitty, ridiculous scheduling.
Eh, alright. I’m not going to really going to attempt to argue with this one, I’m just going to make fun of it. It’s kinda meant for little kids, apparently, and there are very few words. It’s just stupid.
Piracy: It’s nature’s way of saying Capitalism is getting a little out of control.
Not only do high parking rates discourage actually going to a given location they also discourage patronizing the places you’d have gone had you parked there. If not for movies, I wouldn’t even go to the mall, since Amazon.com offers free shipping for orders over $25 and it comes directly to me, I don’t have to go to it and pay exorbitant parking costs to do so.
Speaking of movies, Star Wars Episode III was surprisingly good. The dialog was still kind of shitty, though. We were hoping for something creative like “Padme, my love for you burns like my legs off” (Janet came up with that one in the car). We also came up with some great commentary while watching it. (Padme: “Do you think Obi Wan can help us?” Me: “We can only hope.” (Anakin: “We don’t need his help.”))
Given the dialog of the originals, though, this would have been as good as, if not better than, them. Though, they did rely pretty heavily on Anakin being a dumb shit.
There were also a few moments of great contemporary political commentary from this planet. “So this is how liberty dies–with thunderous applause.” and “Only Siths think in absolutes.” and such.